Speak [ phan ]

chapter thirteen

***

Dan sighs tiredly, ignoring the text ringtone that is constantly going off on his phone.

He sits cross legged on his bed, his phone in his hands, but he remains still, like he's a statue instead of a living human being. He doesn't reply to any of the messages.

Instead, he just watches each message appear, hating himself and his heart breaking a little more with each text that comes. He keeps reading them, even though he never intends to reply. All he does is lose people, no matter what he does, so he figures if he cuts them off first, then they won't turn and break Dan's heart.

Connor: Dan you haven't talked to me since I got back. Reply or else!!

Connor: Dan I mean it!

Connor: damn it Dan!

Connor: answer me! Has something happened????

Connor: that's it I'm calling, if you pick up then you're still alive.

'missed call from Connor'

Connor: FOR GOD'S SAKE DAN HOWELL

Connor: should you be Dead Howell now?

Connor: come on Dan I'm getting worried.

Connor: that's it I'm checking if you're actually dead now.

Connor: hey guys is Dan still alive?

Joe: yeah I saw him today.

Connor: he's not replying to me I'm worried.

Caspar: I think something happened between him and Phil.

Connor: I'll ask Phil then.

Dan panics momentarily, finally snapping out of his trance to move his body a little, unlocking his phone to a private chat with Phil, which hasn't been used in at least a month.

Dan: don't you fucking dare Phil, if our friendship meant anything to you, don't you fucking dare.

Dan watches as Phil reads it, and as the three dots appear, but then it seems like Phil doesn't know what to say because they disappear and don't pop up again, Phil's response remaining a mystery to Dan.

A few minutes later, Dan receives a yet from Connor, and his heart lurches when he goes to read it, sighing in relief when he sees the message. Phil didn't tell him about his father at least.

Connor: Dan why did you punch Phil's brother?

Dan: because I'm a complete asshole. please stop texting me.

Connor: Dan tell me!! Please I'm your friend.

Dan: just fuck off.

Dan locks his phone then before throwing it onto his bedspread, he then sinks down in the corner. He can hear his father yelling at his mum downstairs, and through the thin wall, he can hear Quinn sobbing softly in his room next door.

His brother is crying but there's no way for Dan to comfort him. His mother is fighting with his father, and there's no way for Dan to protect her from him and he just told his best friend to fuck off. And his other friend hates him, pities him and thinks he's a gigantic asshole for punching his brother.

Dan hugs his knees to his chest, squeezing his eyes shut as tears fall silently down his cheeks. Locked in his own world of hurt, Dan feels like he's finally lost everything that ever meant something to him.