Speak [ phan ]

chapter twenty two

***

Dan stands frozen for a second, processing Phil's words.

Every part of him wants to say yes, but he is frozen. He's never even had a girlfriend before, or a boyfriend for that matter. Long story short, Dan has never been liked by anyone.

But now here's Phil, right in front of him, his blue eyes warm and shining with hope and despite all the pain in Dan's life, he feels so happy and light he could float away.

So Dan just nods, and doesn't stop until Phil pulls him into a massive hug. He squeezes Dan so tightly he's struggling to breathe, but Dan still doesn't want Phil to ever let go. He's wanted Phil for so long and now it's finally happening.

"So... What now?" Phil asks, finally pulling away from the hug, "are we boyfriends? Lovers? Soul mates? Dating? Friends with benefits?"

Dan smiles widely at Phil before writing 'dating' in the air, laughing silently and Phil's own grin widens even more. Phil moves closer to Dan, so that they are face to face and Dan can see how bright and oceanic his eyes look from this close up.

"Does dating mean I'm allowed to kiss you?" Phil asks, his face inching closer to Dan's own, waiting desperately for an answer.

Dan doesn't nod, he just puts his lips against Phil's, his hands tangling in his jet black hair while Phil has grabbed onto Dan's shoulders. This moment is the most alive Dan has ever felt, his heart is beating so fast and his body feels like there's a fire burning inside.

[ an// #danisonfire lol ]

He doesn't pull away, he doesn't care about air, who needs air when kissing feels like this. Dan has been missing out for his whole life if kissing was like this, he gets why couples make out all the time.

God he doesn't want to let go of Phil.

"Dan," Phil breathes, finally pulling away, breathing heavily, "oh my god... That was.. I-"

Dan looks at Phil, still panting. Who knew kissing used that much energy? If it's exercise, then fuck Dan will have a six pack in no time because he just wants to keep kissing Phil.

He wants to keep that feeling inside of him and never let it go.

"I've wanted to kiss you for so darn long," Phil says, finally catching his breath, "I would've done it way sooner if I knew it felt like that."

Dan nods in agreement, his eyes drifting to Phil's lips. How is he going to be around Phil without wanting to kiss him, or hug him, or both.

"Do you want to keep playing?" Phil asks, nodding back towards the game, but he secretly wants to keep kissing Dan.

Dan shrugs and they sit back on the couch again, side by side. But now Dan can't concentrate, and neither can Phil, they're both too aware of each other. All the love they'd saved up for each other is starting to flow out and they can't stop it.

"If I win, I win a kiss, yeah?" Phil suggests as they just begin a race, to which Dan nods in agreement before crashing straight into an obstacle.

Needless to say, Dan loses the race and Phil gets his kiss. And they don't seem to stop. They end up kissing on the couch instead of playing, but that's okay with both of them. They can play video games anytime, but now, they have each other.

Dan wants to stay in this moment with Phil forever, because right now he finally feels happy again.

***

"Maybe we shouldn't tell my mother yet," Phil says as they walk to school, hand in hand, "she'd then probably ban us from sleeping in the same room due to uh... Y'know. She already knows I'm bi. Do you want to take it slow in public though? Or I could like, totally write your name in the sky in a heart."