Bad Dreams //mgc

30.

*Michael's POV*

Her grandfather? I remember her talking about Pam's family and how things changed, but she never said anything about it. It was too hard for her to. My stomach is in knots now, because I have a really bad feeling about this. All of the things she's been dealing with seem to get worse and worse. What could be worse than a rape that she hasn't been able to tell me? My heart is breaking for her. How can someone so perfect have so many horrible things happen in her life? It's not fair. But I know not to push her. She'll tell me when she's ready. I hope.

"Everything happens for a reason Angel. We may not know the reason for a week, a year, or ten years, but there's a reason. But I want you to know I'm here for you. You don't have to go through this alone." I don't know what else I can say. This is all so new to me. Sure I've had girlfriends before, but none of them meant as much to me as Cara.

We sat in a comfortable silence when she turned and straddled me on the chair, putting her arms around my neck, my hands wrapped around her waist. "I love you Michael," she said, making my stomach erupt again, as she leaned in and kissed me. This kiss was different than the others. There was a fierce desperation to it, and I kissed her back just as strong. Her hands began to play with my hair, making me moan lightly and I pulled her even closer. My hands drifted slowly up and down her sides and I hesitantly placed my hands under the hem of her shirt onto her bare skin.

"Is this okay?" I asked quietly. I don't want to make her uncomfortable but I can't resist the urge to feel her soft skin.

She nodded and leaned back in to kiss me again. I ran my hands up and down her sides, around her back, relishing the feel of her skin. I very slowly continued higher until I reached the bottom of her bra. She stopped and froze. Shit.

"I'm sorry Cara. I got a little carried away."

She shook her had as she stood up and grabbed my hand, pulling me up off the chair as well. "Don't be sorry Michael. You did nothing wrong. I'll get there eventually. It'll just take time." Now I know what it means when her eyes turn green! I like the green!

****
Leave it to Ashton to come up with the stupidest ideas. We're in southern Pennsylvania on Christmas Eve and swimming in an outdoor pool. Luckily they keep it heated year round. We're all splashing around, but none of us dare use the slide because that would require getting out of the water and its too damn cold out for that.

"You guys are crazy, you know that?" her uncle calls out to us from the deck off the kitchen upstairs.

"Can you start the fire pit Uncle Pete? PLEEAASSEE" Cara asks.

Suddenly a guy I haven't seen before comes running out and cannonballs into the pool yelling, "LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!!"

Cara is cracking up and gives him a hug. "JP! I didn't know you were coming!! JP, this is my boyfriend Michael,"she says. I love the way she says 'boyfriend'! "Mikey, this is my dad and Uncle Pete's cousin JP. He's nuts!" they start laughing and she introduces the rest of my mates. I have never seen a family this large be this close. Its a rare treasure.

It's starting to get dark as we're all sitting by the fire pit, now in layers, when Ashton suggests camping in the yard tonight. He comes up with the craziest ideas sometimes!

"Ashton! You realize it's supposed to snow tonight, right? You're insane!" Cara says.

After all of us going back and forth about it, Cara talks to her uncle and we end up setting up a 6 person tent in the yard. When they says it fits 6 people, I don't think they thought about 4 guys all over 6' tall. It's quite cramped, but in this cold, I guess it'll keep us all warmer.

Everyone is in the tent doing god knows what, while Cara and I are sitting by the fire by ourselves. Cara's between my legs, resting her back on my chest, my arms wrapped around her tightly, my chin resting on top of her head. I could stay like this all night and never let her go. The silence is comfortable, we're just enjoying quiet time alone together, both deep in our own thoughts.

Cara is the first to speak. "There are some things I want to tell you about, but I'm not sure how to yet," she says quietly. "There are so many emotions surrounding it that I've locked away for years. I need to sort through them and figure out exactly what I feel. After this all happened, I've had a really hard time feeling any emotions with most things. I tend to react to things, but don't acknowledge the emotions that go along with it."

I squeeze her tighter to let her know I'm listening, and let her continue.

"It has made it extremely hard to trust anyone. I mean, there are people I trust to some extent, but there's nobody I trust completely, not even Regan. I think my mom was the only person I trusted with everything, but she's not here. It makes it hard, not having anyone to vent to, to help sort through things." She paused for a minute before continuing.

"My grandma likes you. A lot. She told me that my mom brought you into my life for a reason, at a time when I'd need you most. If that's true, I really hope that it isn't just to help me through all this shit and then you disappear from my life."

"Cara," I interrupt, "I'm never going to disappear from your life unless you want me to. Even then, I won't be able to completely because I care too much about you. I don't like to make promises because so many things can happen that can allow promises to be broken, but I can promise you this. I will never betray you. I will never stop caring about you, and even if we end up going separate ways one day, I will always love you."

She pulled my arms tighter around her and said, "I love you Michael."

"I love you too angel." Now is the perfect time to give her the gift I got her for Christmas. I wanted it to be special, to show her how much she means to me.

"I was going to wait until tomorrow to give you your Christmas present, but I think that now is a better time." I run into the tent and grab it out of my bag and run back. I make sure we're back like we were before handing her the small rectangular box.

She opens it up and gasps. "Oh my god, it's beautiful!" she exclaims.

As she pulls out the gold heart shaped locket I explain why I chose this.

"There's a picture of you and one of me inside it. You can keep your secrets locked inside your heart, but I am there too. You aren't handling them alone. Your heart is mine, too."

She starts sniffling and I know she's crying. "Will you put it on me?" she asks. I take it out of the box, move her hair off her shoulders and clasp it shut. I kiss her neck, "I love you Cara"

"I love you too."