To Be With You | Carl Grimes [DISCONTINUED]

Chapter 8: Kill Me Now

"We're not leaving." said Rick.

I sat in the corner on the second floor of the cell blocks, but I could still hear the conversation. I haven't spoken to anyone since what happened yesterday. Beth tried to talk to me, but I ignored her. I know Michonne wants to talk to me, but she knows I don't want to be bothered.

I sat here ever since we came back into the prison, my knees to my chest. My mother dying replayed in my mind every second, her screams of pain echoing through my head. I occasionally shed some tears, and hold my hands over my ears trying to block out her screams.

I just can't believe she's gone. I protected her this long, why couldn't I save her then? It's my fault, it's my fault, it's my fault . . . .

"We can't stay here." I heard Hershel say, and I mentally thanked him for interrupting my thoughts before I went crazy.

"What if there's another sniper?" Maggie asked. "A wood pallet won't stop one of those rounds."

"We can't even go outside." said Beth.

"Not in the daylight." Carol said.

"Rick says we're not running, we're not running." Glenn said strictly.

"No, better to live like rats." Merle said sarcastically.

I found out that Merle and Daryl came back during the fight yesterday. I wanted to say something about Merle being here, but I couldn't speak. I had too much on my mind.

"You got a better idea?" Rick asked him.

"Yeah, we should have slid out here last night and lived to fight another day. But we lost that window, didn't we?" He said. "I'm sure he's got scouts on every road out of this place by now."

"We ain't scared of that prick." Daryl said.

"Y'all should be." said Merle. "That truck through the fence thing, that's just him ringing the doorbell. We might have some thick walls to hide behind, but he's got the guns and the numbers. And if he takes the high ground around this place, shoot, he could just starve us out if he wanted to."

"Let's put him in the other cell block." Maggie suggested.

"No." Daryl said. "He's got a point."

"This is all you. You started this." Maggie raised her voice at Merle.

"What difference whose fault it is?" Beth said. "What do we do?"

"I said we should leave." Hershel repeated. "Now Axel's dead. And so is Reyna."

I felt a hard pang hit me in the chest. I hugged my knees closer and put my head in between.

"We can't just sit here." Hershel continued.

I heard footsteps walking away.

"Get back here!" Hershel yelled, and the footsteps stopped. "You're slipping, Rick. We've all seen it. We understand why. But now is not the time. You once said this isn't a democracy. Now you have to own up to that. I put my family's life in your hands. So get your head clear and do something."

* * *

A few hours past, and I didn't move from my spot. Only when I had to go use the bathroom did I move. Still, nobody bothered me and I was glad.

All I could think about, the only thing on my mind, was my mother. And I could've saved her. Should've saved her. When the world went to hell, I made a promise to myself. Just one promise.

To keep my mother alive.

And I couldn't do that. Just that, something so simple. She was always there with me, and I always saved her when she couldn't save herself. But not this time.