End of the Road

Cheers to our Closure

+++

Maybe she could feel it; sense it, hear it. And she knew something wasn't right.

Namjoo tossed and turned for about a quarter of the night; her eyes open while listening to Ki Hoon breathing. She was bothered by something she couldn't point out, but it was there; throbbing and stabbing at her insides.

Unable to breathe comfortably she gave up. Getting to her feet she strutted through the dark into the kitchen for a glass of water.

Often times when she was unable to sleep, a glass of water helped fix it. After gulping the cool water down she listened to it gently clink against the countertop and stared out the window. The stars were high in the sky and the moon just in the center of it. It looked almost as if the moon were governing her house.

Suddenly urged to step outside for a bit she turned away from the counter and pulled her door open. A slight breeze swept against her face as if clasping its invisible hand around the side of her face before dissolving past her. A deep breath shuddered through her before she naturally turned to her left to see Sehun sitting against the building with knees against his chest.

For a strange reason she didn't feel surprised or shocked. Namjoo stared down at him for a long minute. Closing the door she sat down, crossed her legs, and leaned her back against it. Deep down it felt like she knew why he was there, but consciously she couldn't quite grasp why.

"Do you know what time it is?" Namjoo asked.

"I'm afraid that if I know, it'll go by faster."

"How long have you been here?"

A somewhat bitter smile crossed his face, "I don't know. I...couldn't leave."

Namjoo disallowed her eyes to stray toward him, so she kept her eyes straight ahead. The street was empty, but safe and she could see the sky gleaming tears from the top of her lids. And just like Sehun, she didn't quite acknowledge the beauty of it.

"I get scared that if you don't come to me now, the engagement might really happen. It's not that I'm childish, I just can't forget you."

"Your mother, she only wants what's best for you," Namjoo barely blinked, "she, who gave birth to you, only wants you to live well."

"Shouldn't it be me who knows what's best for me? Is that wrong?"

"You're going to live the rest of your life in the eyes of others, do you know that?" Namjoo questioned. "You, who should be respected, won't be...with me."

Swallowing, she turned to him, "Go home, Sehun. You shouldn't stay here."

"Then, are you happy?" Sehun asked. "Are you...going to marry him?"

Namjoo turned away unable to face him.

"I know," Sehun told, his heart on edge, the tears still in his eyes, "my son sees him as more of a father than me. It's ok, that's ok too. I know you're disappointed in me, but I just want to know; did you mean it when you told me you loved me?"

Something was pounding against her heart. A hammer was knocking against the door she kept closed. Every time it hit, blood flowed through the crevices of her veins. And it hurt as it hurled inside her ribs. Namjoo felt the heat grow in her eyes and her throat constrict painfully as she fought to hold back the tears that might well up.

It felt like she was ripping up inside.

"Namjoo," Sehun's voice broke, "did you...sleep with him?"

A drop of tear sat on the edge of her lid threatening to fall down. Namjoo knew she'd betrayed him more than he had her. And she suddenly thought Sehun should be the one hurting worse.