Always

Irresistible (revised)

Dedicated to EVERLARK_4ever and live-life-king-size I just wanted to say thank you so much for being a huge support to my story.

When my eyebrows became bushy again, I didn't frown. When my leg hair grew back, I didn't sigh. But apparently this is what my reaction should have been. My prep team exclaim and take in shocked breaths at my appearance.

"How can Peeta live with someone so hairy?"Octavia Exclaims. I clinch my teeth as another round of waxing begins and try to keep the tears at bay.

"He probably doesn't know anything else, I'm sure all the women here are like that." Flavius tells us as if it's the only answer. My once long, leg hair, bushy eyebrows, and messy hair have been torn away once again.

The door opens and my heart rises in the hopes of having Peeta on the other side, but it isn't him. Instead it's the one person who understood me before I understood myself. Someone who has helped me in every way possible. Cinna.

"Hey girl on fire, I hear we will be having another little Mellark running around here soon." He tells me with an uncertain face, as if he isn't sure how to react. I simply nod my head and pat the seat next to me. His brown eyes stare into mine as he takes the seat and waits for the truth about how I feel.  I take a deep breath and promise myself I won't cry, but deep down I know that's a promise I can't keep.

"Cinna, to understand how I feel about this you have to know that I never wanted this. I never wanted to fall in love, get married, and I especially didn't want to have kids. I always thought that I'd grow old in the seam with my mother and sister, but we both know that's not what happened. Peeta showed me that falling in love wasn't so bad and that getting married was actually pretty great. But no matter what he does, he'll never be able to erase my fear of having kids. " I tell him while a tear slides down my cheek, followed by another.

"He doesn't know that I cry myself to sleep at night, or that I have nightmares of loosing this baby. And I don't want him to know, but at the same time I feel like I'm lying to him. As if I'm keeping everything a secret. I'm trying to be happy, I really am. But I don't see the point in living a life of happiness when in a split second it will be taken away from me. Every parent fears the reapings, but my fear is taking over my life. I love this child, but I'm scared for it too." I begin to sob and make a choking noise.

"Shhh child, everything will be alright. Katniss, I know that right now it seems as if the world is an awful place, but underneath the Capitol it isn't so bad. Maybe as a parent it's your job to fear the reapings. If fear is what it takes for you to love the baby then don't stop. Fear for the baby, but don't let it cloud your mind. You need to raise this baby to be another Mockingjay." He tells me softly while calming my nerves. And it's in that moment I realize what he is telling me, I can't raise this baby as another Victors child, bound to be thrown in the games. I have to raise a rebel, someone who will fight.

"One more smile for the camera!" The photographer yells from behind the multiple flashes of light. I suck in my tummy trying to conceal my belly, put on my Capitol smile, and silently hate the man behind the Capitol. "Very nice, very nice. Now take a seat, but don't crush your beautiful wedding dress."
He tells me as he leaves the room and closes the door.

Ignoring his request, I lay myself flat on the couch crushing every pearl beneath me. "Rough day?" He asks me from above my head. Giving my lips a peck, I open my eyes just the slightest to see his charming smile.

"You could say that." I say aggravated with the tight dress. "I wish we could live in our house and be alone forever." I tell him while pulling him on the couch with me. He chuckles and begins to rub my back.