Spaces Between Us | g.d

Chapter 17

A/n:If you don't remember what happened before the flashback, go back to the first chapter and read it so that this chapter will make sense.😝

*end of flashback*
*present day*

And that's pretty much how he left almost one year ago. I'm better now but the first months were really difficult; I was a wreck. I was crying nonstop for days, I didn't sleep, I didn't talk to anyone not even Abby. I even had hallucinations of a green laser dot on my balcony doors. I was getting out of the house only to go to school. In the meantime Abby found a boyfriend, his name is Alex. They are still together. The thing is, we stopped hanging out because she would either be with him or at her house, studying. She was neglecting me but I know she didn't do it on purpose. Let's just say she was "in love".

You know, most of the people don't eat when they are sad. I did exactly the opposite. I started eating, a lot. And that's why I gained a lot of weight in a really short period of time. My clothes wouldn't fit me anymore. I felt uglier than ever.

But things got even worse.
One day, I was watching tv, my mom received a call from my grandma. I heard her crying and after five minutes I was sobbing in my mom's arms. That was the moment I learned my grandpa had cancer and that he didn't have much time left; only a couple months. We never told him the truth. He died three months later.

Can you imagine how broken I felt inside? I lost two people who I love so much from my life. Or should I say three? I haven't seen my dad in forever. It's been almost two years since the last time. We talk on the phone sometimes but it's not enough.
When my parents divorced and my dad went back to New Jersey I didn't see him often but my grandpa had always been there making sure to offer me what my dad couldn't. He taught me two things. First, how to play the piano, my passion. He always wanted me to perform on a big stage one day. That had always been my dream. And two, to never give up.
But I failed him. I gave up.
It was a rainy day, the sky was crying with me. I couldn't take the pain anymore. I only cut myself once. I only have one scar on my wrist. I never meant to cut myself that deep with the razor. But I did. I lost so much blood that night. When my mom came back from work she found me lying unconscious on the bathroom floor. Blood was splattered all over the place but I didn't die that night. I survived.
My grandpa would be so disappointed. I gave up on what was taken away from him; life.

A couple days after I got out of the hospital my mom decided to take me to a psychologist. I was diagnosed with depression. She once told me "Christina, you eat to fill the gap you have in your heart." I started laughing. "Really? I thought I eat to feel the gap in my stomach."
I'm actually really thankful to her. She helped me a lot.

Everything got better the past two or three months. I got a new haircut! They say when girls cut their hair they think they cut their problems so I thought why not? My long dark brown hair are now shoulder length. Not that big of a change, I know, but still a change. A huge weight was literally and figuratively lifted off my body.
I also started going to the gym. I worked really hard to loose weight and in the end I made it. Well, you wouldn't call me thin. I'm definitely curvy but I'm cool with it. Abby helped me a lot through that. We started hanging out more often and now we are bffs again.

As for him...we never talked since he left.
Ethan called me a couple times but I kept ignoring him until he stopped. They gained millions of followers the past year. They deserve it. They both are more famous than ever. I really hope that hasn't changed them. They know how to put a big smile on people's faces. Grayson used to make me smile but now he must have forgotten I even exist.

I still mean it you know...what I told him that day.
"..there is nothing you can do to make me unlove you.."
Let alone hate him.
I really want move on..but never forget him. Cause after all, how can I forget someone who gave me so much to remember?
They say it takes time to forget.
I say it takes effort and I'm not willing to try.

I hadn't realized I've been sitting at my balcony for so long until the sun light hit my face. I went back to my room to check my social media. Twitter, Instagram..blah blah u know the usual.
It's 7 am. My mom must be awake by now. I went to the bathroom to wash my teeth and have a shower. I'm kinda hungry. Wait. My mom bought me my favorite cereal yesterday yayy. As I walk down the stairs to go to the kitchen I hear the sound of the coffee machine and my mom talking on the phone.

She has been very sad the past two weeks. She got fired and now she can't  find a job. Apparently, if you're in a relationship with your boss and break up with him, you get fired. What a douche..I never liked him. I caught her crying one time. She's afraid she won't be able to provide me everything I need in life.

I walked in our kitchen.
"Morning." I said. She kept talking on the phone.
"..and a house?..........really? Yes thank you so much...." I ignored her screaming through the phone.
I opened the fridge to get some milk to add to my cereal.

"I have exciting news sweetie."

"What happened?" I shoved a large spoonful of cereal into my mouth.

"I found a job!" I choked.

"Oh my God..really?" I'm so happy for her. "Where?"

"In New Jersey."

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THE UNIVERSE IS GIVING THEM ANOTHER CHANCE!!! 👏👏👏👏

will they take it?

Xo🌚