In the World of Magic(Harry Potter Next Generation Fanfic)

Chapter 56 - The Brake

Amanda's POV

"You know, if you don't stop that your lip might fall off", Allison pointed out before taking a bite from the chocolate she had in her hands. It was meant to be a joke but at the same time I could see worry in Allison's eyes. Everyone had that glimt in their eyes. They were worried that I wasn't okay after what happened, and I wasn't. I would get over it though, and it wasn't the subject of my wondering and worried feelings. 

"Sorry, I just haven't seen James since I got out of the hospital wing. I wanted to talk to him before we left but I couldn't find him anywhere. I guess I'm just worried about him", I explained honestly. If there was one thing I had learned during that year it wasn't how to make a potion or about magical history, it was that lying never led to anything good. 

"Are you sure that it's just that?", Scorpius wondered with his eyes holding more worry than anyone else's. I smiled and nodded. Maybe some people would have been annoyed or frustrated with their worry, but I wasn't. Truth be told, I felt safe knowing that even though I had messed up they were still there for me. They were still my friends and still cared about me. 

"Yeah, it really is just James I'm worried about." Christina, who was sitting next to me, put an arm around my shoulders and squished me against her. Salt from the assorted sour strips, that Christina had in her lap, poured out of the bag and down on the floor. Christina barely seemed to notice though.

"It's probably fine. I mean that boy is strange, who knows what he's up to. My guess is that he had a hard time saying good bye to that twin... Alex, right?", Christina told me reassuringly and I gave her a thankful smile before looking down. Was it strange that I was so worried about that I hadn't seen James at all since I had gotten back? I mean it was four days and then they days he hadn't been able to come and visit me. I had meant to talk to him during the meals but he was never anywhere to be seen. I hadn't been allowed to go to lessons even though I was fine. They said there wasn't any point to do so since all grades were set and since I wasn't going to return next year.

"If you guys say so. I'm probably only paranoid after everything", I said as I shook my head and plastered a smile on my face that wasn't that real but still not exactly fake. The others noticed that my feelings weren't completely calm yet, but they took my smile as a chance to change the subject. I was happy that they did because I wanted some distraction. 

James' POV

People would have probably called me a coward. I wouldn't have disagreed. I was a coward, but there was a reason for it. Everyone would have probably been a coward in my place. That's the thing, when there comes to decisions you don't want to make you can't help but try and avoid them for as long as possible. 

"James, what is going on with you. Seriously, I don't think I've ever seen you this quiet", Roxy said which brought my attention over to her where she sat on Louis' lap. The compartment was a little full to say the least. It was the three of us, Alex, Lilly, Hugo, Molly and Rose. I had thought that no one would notice if I sulked in the corner when there were that many people there. I was apparently wrong. 

"It's nothing, I'm just tired. I couldn't sleep last night", I weakly explained as if it wasn't a big deal. That was the least of my worries, not getting sleep that is. That wasn't a lie. I hadn't slept trough the whole night the last week. I was too anxious about my decision. I knew that I had to do it, but I didn't really want to. The worst part was that I would actually have to lie and I would have to do it good. If I showed any regret she would know. She would see right through me if I showed even the smallest glance of doubt.