wonderland 「 jungkook 」

[four] passing the time

너 어디이써 왔는지?
where did you come from?

that night, jungkook's father hadn't come home. he knew what that meant all too well, and while part of him was saddened to the core, the other part of him was immensely relieved to have a break for once. after his little episode after what happened that day, he calmed himself down and decided to just go to bed, too exhausted to do anything else. and he never got much sleep anyway due to his belligerent parents, so he figured he'd take advantage of this rare opportunity.

he winced at the feeling of his worn-out, black-but-faded-to-gray jeans rubbing against the warm, raised, freshly-scabbed cuts on his right thigh, praying that they wouldn't reopen and bleed through the light material. The last thing he needed was another trip to the counsellor's office. she only pretended to care; he was sure of it. just like jake had said. the bully's words were cruel, but they were true...

but the truth still hurts, that's for damn sure.

the poor boy walked down the hall warily, fresh off the bus. he didn't see jake or his accomplices standing and talking by the entrance of the cafeteria like they usually did, but that didn't mean they weren't lurking in the shadows somewhere, waiting for him to pass so they could pounce on him. the thought alone terrified the young boy, and so he took and alternate route through the crowded school.

he thought of going to the boys' restroom like he usually did, but then he remembered the mirrors, and quickly decided against it. after what he did to himself yesterday afternoon, he didn't think it was a good idea to look at his ugly reflection.

there was one other place in this god damned school that hardly anyone went to, and if they did, they'd be too busy to notice the frail boy. so that's exactly where he went.

jungkook walked as quickly as he could with his many injuries through the cafeteria and down the hall towards the library, feeling like everyone was staring at him, scrutinizing his every move and waiting for a time to terrorize him.

he may seem paranoid to some, but such behavior is understandable. his whole life was a series of people knocking him down and hurting him. paranoia was a simple adaptation.

he kept his head down to hide his blemished face stained with a scarlet color in embarrassment the entire way there. when he approached the library entrance, he struggled to open the heavy doors with his tiny arms, but once he finally got them open and walked into the freezing cold room, he felt a wave of relief wash over his shivering entirety.

the librarian smiled at him with the kind of pure kindness only an old woman such as herself could convey, and he tried his best to return it, but all that could come out of him was an awkward, tight-lipped grin which looked more like a grimace.

smiling was something that took much effort for the fragile boy. it was foreign to him.

he crossed one of his twig-like arms across himself in attempt to fight against the frigid air as he signed in with one of the ipads supplied by the library, punching in his student id number.

or his prisoner id number, as he thought of it wryly.

his school was like a prestigious prison.

after going through these measures, he sighed and looked around the huge, all but deserted reserve of knowledge, wondering what would be the best way to waste the next fifteen or so minutes before the first period bell.

as he scanned the computer lab and endless rows of bookshelves, he just wished that the minutes would hurry up and pass so he could head to english class and hopefully speak to the blue-eyed beauty who doubled as his pink-haired, black-clad guardian angel the day before.