wonderland 「 jungkook 」

[twelve] i want to show you

사람들이 시선을 둘여워만해.
i started to fear people staring at me.

in and out and in and out went jungkook's labored breaths.

he was in a cold, fearful sweat as he looked on at the street with widened eyes containing phantoms of the terror he'd experienced just moments before. he was confronted by his father late at night who noticed that his wallet was a few bills lighter. jungkook was foolish to take them while he was sleeping; when you lived in poverty, every single cent was accounted for. but jungkook was addicted to nicotine; without it, getting through the day was more laborious than what was describable with words.

he was never in very good shape, but fresh wounds decorated his face, neck and arms. he had bruises from the forceful grabs and there was a scrape below his right eye slowly seeping blood like the truth that was coming out. he didn't notice this, however, as his body was burning with physical exertion.

approaching an intersection, he stowed to a stop, bending over and placing his hands on his knees as he tried to catch his breath. looking around at his surroundings, he was glad it was late; no one was around to judge him. no pedestrians walked the sidewalks. not a single car was on the road. it was an ungodly hour. the sky was pitch black, and if it weren't for the city lights, the stars would be clearly visible above him, but jungkook doubted they would be to him regardless. he was convinced his eyes were no longer able to perceive the wonders of life.

that was, except for a certain girl.

it was with this that he crossed the street, going down the route he'd memorized that led to her front step. it wasn't even a conscious decision; it was like his body had a mind of its own. he had no control over anything.

jungkook ventured down the long, winding street until it was nothing but trees and darkness on both sides with no apparent end. he heard the crunching of twigs, the rustling of the leaves as winds caused even the largest of oak trees to sway rhythmically back and forth, as if it were some sort of dancing ritual. he imagined that in between the trees were portals to other worlds. he would've ventured into them if he didn't have his single shred of hope in this one.

there was an ominous atmosphere all around him, as if there were demons waiting in the shadows to ambush him. however, he wasn't fearful of them. one of the most powerful of them all resided in his very own home, so he welcomed the others to whisk him away. having said this, he would only go willingly after he'd reached his destination which was unknown to his conscious mind. he had a peculiar sense of purpose that even he couldn't comprehend.

after a while, he saw a dim glow in the distance. when he got closer, he saw that it was the flickering porch light of a familiar residence. relief flooded over him, but he only pushed himself harder, breaking out into a jog that was more laborious than the sprint he'd maintained for quite some time after he left his apartment building.

he thought it some miracle that he somehow managed to reach the front steps. even as his pitiful weight caused the ancient boards to creak below his feet, it still hadn't quite donned on him just exactly what he was doing; his body acted on its own accord as he raised a fist to deliver timid, staccato knocks on the aged wood.

as he waited, his sanity slowly returned to him. what the hell was he doing, coming here at who knows what time, waking her up like this? he didn't want to be a disturbance. and he was suddenly hyperaware of the marks littering his body.