wonderland 「 jungkook 」

[twenty-four] she wasn't the only one

리 침묵 서게서 소리 내 외칠게
in the long silence, a sound comes, screaming
어리석고 나약하지만 한 내 마음을...
from my foolish and weak heart...

when jungkook finally snapped out of it, he tried talking himself down, irrationally rationalize the situation. she was fine, he was fine, the house was fine, everything was fine. it was just a misunderstanding, that was all. just a stupid mistake of his to stress her out when she was already feeling exasperated to the point of manifesting a physical illness in her that caused her to undergo debilitating pain and nausea. really, he told himself, that was quite self-serving and egocentric of him to pick a fight like that and cause her to feel even more overstretched. really, how could he expect her to be fine when all this grief and responsibility had been abruptly thrust upon her?

"selfish," he muttered to himself, naturally pinning all the culpability to his chest as he always had due to his enduring self-destructive nature. "unbelievably selfish."

he immediately put his brain to work, trying to think as creatively as possible under pressure. after a while, he came up with something, an overused, overworked, over-cliched lightbulb going off in his head. he immediately got to work, as alice could be coming home any minute. he had to be quick.

he raided the bathroom cabinets, coming across a wide variety and huge stock of different scented candles; seriously, the girl could start a candle business or something. finding it endearing, as he did everything about her, he smiled and collected as many vanilla ones as he could hold in his arms. he placed them around the tub in the space with care, some in clusters and others separate but always out of the walkway. when he was finished, he moved the shower curtain out of the way so that he wouldn't forget later; he knew his mind would definitely be in other places when the girl came home. he grabbed a few spares and trailed them down the sides of the stairs as well.

after this, he put on some shoes and clunked his way down the steps and out the back door, setting a hurried pace just in case she was already on her way. he eventually broke out into a jog when he'd past the first barrier of trees and continued down the long, winding path, through the clearing and beyond. when he finally reached wonderland, he spared only a second to marvel at its beauty and mesmerizing scent, as its affects had dulled after his eyes had fallen to overindulgence after drinking in his lover's radiance that gleamed brighter than the sun overhead and and his nose had become so accustomed to taking in her fresh scent more intoxicating than any mere flower.

he got to work quickly, pulling blossomed bouquets from their roots. he winced with every tug as if he could feel the creatures' pain as they were yanked from their life source in the soil. however, he felt that this was a necessary evil.

when he was finished and it was over, he took in breath after labored breath, wiping beads of sweat away as they fell into his eyes. he gazed upward as a breeze began to blow, the wind howling at his painful disturbance. he squinted, focused and refocused his eyes as he searched for fairies. however, he could find none.

"forgive me," he apologized. "you must know that i wouldn't hurt you if it weren't for her happiness..."

as he trailed off, the wind began to settle. he knew that they must've heard him. "you watch over her, right?" he asked breathlessly. the trees stilled and the air grew stagnant. "please make sure she gets home safely."

not a second after he ended his sentence, a butterfly with wings of gold, black and blue landed on his index finger that helped keep the flowers securely in his grasp. he smiled at it, shifting the plethora of flowers to his other hand. he placed them softly on the ground, and then he brought up the other index finger. slowly, he inched it forward, entranced by the colors it boasted that were too vibrant to be from this world. however, as soon as the tip of it barely grazed the outer edge of the wing, the butterfly fluttered its wings, and he watched as they caught the light and glittered as it flew away.