Trouble ▸▸ Kellic

13.

Nothing could express how I felt except one word: Confused. None of it made any sense; Vic didn't actually like me, he was angry, he was straight, hell I'm straight, or at least I thought I was. But... maybe I'm not.

After Vic kissed me, I was left speechless as he sighed and disappeared. And here I am, a week later with no sign of Vic. He hasn't even bothered coming back to the dorm and he's never in class or at meals. Part of me was starting to wonder if he had left the school completely, but the thought was forgotten when I caught a glimpse of him hurrying down a hall. Part of me wanted to follow him and another part of me wanted to watch him go. It was conflicting, but I soon decided it was best to act like my normal self, so I followed him.

Vic moved fast as I lost track of him multiple times before pinpointing him right outside of our dorm. Maybe he was sneaking in when I wasn't there. I waited for the door to slam shut before following him. Vic jumped in a rather obvious manner, spinning on his heels to meet my gaze. I shut the door harshly, feeling my skin heat up. It wasn't in affection this time; this time I was angry.

"Care to explain where you've been disappearing to?" I questioned, stepping further into the dorms.

"Doesn't matter." Vic concluded, hurrying into the bedroom and shutting the door. I waited for a few minutes before he reappeared in clean clothes. I kept quiet and watched as he shoved some books into his bag and then attempted to get past me to the door. That's where I stopped him. The resentment I was feeling washed away as I reached out and latched onto his wrists.

"Let go, I'm already late for class." Vic ordered, trying to rip out of my grip.

"So now you suddenly care?" I inquired, keeping my gaze on him firmly. I noticed how he was refusing to look me in the eyes, something he never did before last week. "Are you avoiding me?" I asked after Vic said nothing. A few seconds passed with no answer. "Let me rephrase that, are you avoiding me because you're angry or because you liked the kiss." I added on boldly, shocking both of us. Ever since we met one another I hadn't dared talk like I used to, but it seemed anymore I had become my old self again.

"I didn't like it... it was a big mistake and I regret it." Vic spat. I had to admit, his words cut deep. My emotions needed to stop messing with my head, they're two separate entities.

"You could have forgotten about it and moved on, so I know that's not why you're avoiding me." Was all I could think to say. I wanted to receive an answer, and I was going to be persistent to get one. Vic sighed, trying once again to loosen my grip. "Tell me and I'll let go." I offered.

"How about you let go now and you won't have a big fucking bruise on your face." Vic finally snapped. I didn't let go, not taking his words to heart. He wouldn't actually hurt me, not after everything that had happened. We were a team, we were-

Bam, pain met and numbed the right side of my face. I could feel it swelling immediately. Shocked, I let out a gasp of pain and let go of Vic's wrist, bringing my hand up to touch where he had hit me. He actually hit me. Silently, I watched as Vic gave me one last glance before slinging his bag over his shoulder and exiting the room. Tears stung my eyes as I was unsure as to why they were there. Maybe it was the fact he didn't hesitate to hit me or maybe it was the excruciating pain, but either way, they were there. Closing my eyes, I let out a sigh. Of course he would have actually hit me, I was nothing special. Maybe that's what hurt.

I was nothing special.

--- -

I avoided everyone the best I could for the rest of the day, and for quite a few days after. On Saturday I spent my detention in the back by myself and on Sunday I stayed in the church alone instead of sneaking out with Vic, Mike, Jaime and Tony like I usually did. This left me bored out of my mind, but I didn't believe for a second I was capable of facing Vic or anyone associated with him. Justin gave me a few glances, but I ignored them and tried to cover the bruise that had formed on my cheek the best I could with my fringe.

Eventually, though, I was no longer allowed to hide, so I found myself face to face with Justin three days later. Self consciously, I tugged a few strands of my hair down to cover the bruise. It was too late, though, and I soon felt Justin's hand grazing my cheek as he shoved the strands of hair away from my face.

"Who did this?" Justin demanded immediately. I admired his concern, but it was definitely none of his business. My problems were always secluded from everyone but myself. Having people meddling in my life was just a nuisance.

"It's nothing. Some kid and I got in a fight a few days ago." I lied smoothly, covering the bruise for a second time. I could sense Justin didn't believe me. The way he looked into my eyes in anger and slight resentment said it all.

"Sure, it's nothing. I'm sure you got into a fist fight with someone because that occurs so often and the story of what happens never gets spread," Justin retaliated sarcastically, rolling his eyes. "I'm starting to think this friendship we have going on here is only being attended to on one person's side, and that's mine. Sorry if I'm such a burden in your life; just say the magic words and I'll disappear."

"Justin..." I spoke suddenly. What could I even say? None of it made any difference. "It's really none of your concern and quite frankly, I'd appreciate it if you'd stop meddling with my problems, alright?" I explained calmly, biting my tongue after I realized what I had said. Justin didn't seemed surprised, just hurt.

"...Okay, I get it. I won't bother you anymore, but don't expect me to be selfless if you ever need me." Was all Justin replied with, his tone of voice sharp and unpleasing. It made an uncomfortable feeling sink into my stomach as I watched him hurry away. With a huff, I darted out of the lobby, up the stairs and into my dorm. Vic sat at the small table working on what I could only assume was homework. It was still early, but I felt completely worn out and useless. Without a word to Vic, I slipped through the cracked door to the bedroom, changing into some more comfortable clothes before letting my body glide beyond the warm, silk sheets. I must've laid there for an eternity as I listened to Vic's scribbling on the other side of the thin wall. Suddenly the scribbling stopped and a knock on our door was heard.

Vic's footsteps echoed through the dorm as the locks unlatched and the door was opened. It took me a moment or two to realize what was happening.

"Can I come in?" I heard Danielle's voice speaking softly. My eyes opened as I held my breath, hoping to hear more of their conversation.

"It's probably best if you didn't; my roommate is in bed," Vic explained, his tone as soft as Danielle's. There was a gap of silence before Vic talked again. "I just finished some of my homework, though, so would you care to take this back to your place?" Vic suggested, that provocative tone of his returning to its rightful spot.

"...Yeah, okay. I don't think anybody's there right now." Danielle went along with him before I heard keys clinking on the coffee table and the door slam shut before the lock switched. I forced myself to close my eyes. Why should I care? It was obvious Vic and I weren't sharing mutual feelings; there was nothing I could do about that. In fact, it's probably better if I start withdrawing my feelings for him right now. Rip the bandage off; find somebody else worth my time. Hell, maybe there was another daring girl across campus calling my name.

I had no reason to care, so I convinced myself that I didn't. My mind believed it, but my heart certainly did not. I was always going to care, but sometimes common sense represents something far more important than feelings do.