We're All Crazy Here! [Creepypasta Fanfiction]

23: BAD APPLES (Part One)

His writing trailed off in an arc of navy ink, slicked across the page.

D-Dammit...

Like a switch being flipped off, he blacked out when his forehead smacked against the matte finish of his desk.

Doctor Smiley was out cold instantly.

Out of his damaged head and back into the world around him, the surgery was more or less untouched and I'll explain what happened.

For you see, oh so stealthily someone had snuck behind him and seized a handful of his raven hair, catching him embarrassingly off-guard.

Then they bashed his head into the desk.

Apart from the initial whumping sound, it was a soundless job.

Undisturbed, E.J's prolonged snooze continued. By now, it was unclear if he'd gone into hibernation.

Toby was still getting his extended explanation from Slenderman (also questioning why the faceless creepypasta had been confiding in a duck-shaped potato chip).

~

Smirky was awake and sitting up on the surgery table - checking himself over for injuries that didn't exist.

Such was the work of an illusionist; to fool others with their woven deceit and trickery.

"Charming," he remarked dryly upon examining his torn nails, "First my teeth and now this. What's next? My tongue? My hair? My nose? It's all up for grabs; just rip them away slowly and let me simmer in the anguish. Oh, don't worry; I'll enjoy it naturally because that's all I've ever been good for isn't it-"

"Will you not ramble?!" Kagekao's voice snapped, brimming with poorly disguised irritation.

The illusionist's voice lapsed into sullen silence.

When he opened his mouth again, the words simply glided off his tongue. "I'd love to cut you into pieces and feel your blood run through my fingers-"

With a soft click, the surgery's clock hit a twelve 'O clock mark before the receiver could react.

Lunchtime. BEN's time. Oh, and also when E.J woke up like clockwork.

Weirdly similar to a rising mummy, the kidney-loving creepypasta arose from the bed.
Unlike a mummy fresh from the dead, he was half-asleep.

"Where's the food?"

Thinking fast, Smirky sprang off the table and swiped the jar containing Jeff's kidney. With some swift footwork, he made a turnabout towards the bed.

"P-Please, don't strain yourself! You need rest!" He exclaimed, mimicking Smiley's anxious voice with frightening accuracy.

"Kidney...?" E.J mumbled, groggily reaching out to grab at thin air.

Smirky twisted off its lid and held out the open jar. He wasn't wearing surgical gloves and naturally refused touch that goopy green liquid.

E.J had no such qualms about the matter, he was quite happy to stick his whole hand in there and fish around for a bit too. Then he pulled out the kidney with glee, like a kid who'd just been bobbing for apples.

Due to Phantom's love of her PG-13 rating, she cannot describe what happened next.

The villains just sorta froze and hoped that he wouldn't notice anything unusual.

It was awkward.

Sure enough, after 'lunch', E.J plopped straight back into bed without noticing anything unusual. Never underestimate the power of doziness.

Smirky gingerly dropped the slimy jar into a nearby medical waste bin. "... I feel nauseous."

"... Can I make quick stop at wine cupboard before continuation? Ke... Ke... Ke?"

"... Yes. Yes, you may."

Claws scrabbled frantically on the surgery's tiled floor. Smiley's body was left slumped over the desk, which sounds much worse than Phantom meant it to.

The door opened by a crack, something dark slipped out, then it shut abruptly.

Smirky crossed his arms and leaned a hand on one of the high shelves with an outward sigh. Beads of cold sweat trickled down his collar.

He glanced behind him, noticed the flickering monitors.

Of course; Smiley must've put them back online awhile ago...

There was evidence and that simply wouldn't do. But again. Nothing that a little button couldn't fix.

Select > Move To Trash > Delete > Are you sure? > Yes > Recording.exe deleted permanently.

Voila. No more evidence. Until BEN hacked the system. But when he did - everything would already be over.

Over.

That word was tricky to admit. Yes, everything was ready and in place. He'd played his part and done exactly what he'd been told to do - like an obedient dog.

Cause a distraction.

Smirky paced around in a circle, deliberately trailing one foot after the other.

The clock's mellow ticking, humming electric lights, his own intakes of breath, wind flurrying into windows' delicate glass, E.J's snoring... All these sounds beating softly in his ears.

He'd 'stolen' over fifty kills in a single night, done the work of two creepypastas combined. Killed two birds with one stone; distracted everyone and tested his own strength in the process.

It hadn't been hard to get some addresses - L.J had a bad habit of keeping his bedroom door open. And his kill list tacked in plain sight.

Since the clown shared a room with E.J, he'd gone ahead and copied that one too.

It was coming back that posed a problem. If he was covered in blood, it would've made a certain someone suspicious. So he'd pulled off the most complicated scheme of his life.

Phantom became an oblivious pawn. Her handbag getting stolen had been a brilliant stroke of luck; exactly what he needed to set his plan in motion.

Smirky broke out of his reminiscing when the door swung open again, silent as a breeze. Claws tocked neatly on tile.

"Ready to go, baka-kun?" A whiff of wine accompanied Kagekao's words.

_______________________
A/N: Hope that wasn't too much of an infodump! >.<
My battery's running low again. Oh yes, and... CLIFFHANGER! Plz dnt kill meh. I'm illiterate and stoopid. I dnt unders8nd enlsih. XD
I was thinking of beginning to add music to the start of each chapter for more atmosphere. Whaddia think? Yah or nah?

Question Of Le Day: A pile of Christmas presents, a pile of candy and a pile of money. What would you choose?

Toodle-doo!
Final Word Count: 1000