We're All Crazy Here! [Creepypasta Fanfiction]

41: An Apple Interlude: What Kagekao Saw

[For best effect of this flashback, please imagine all of it coated with a sepia filter of your choice. Thank you.]

A mission to infiltrate the creepypasta mansion had gone splendidly, and over thirty swatches of duct tape were placed over the spy cameras in various bathrooms.

It was an immense victory – the unspeakable sights had been haunting everyone for weeks on end, especially where BEN's 'lil tush was concerned.

To celebrate the end of a disturbing era, Zalgo even threw a party.

By the end of the night it became the biggest mistake of his life. Not because the party wasn't fun; everyone enjoyed it; enjoyed it a little too much...

Loud cheering erupted in the cafeteria hall, which had mysteriously turned into a banquet hall. (Hundreds of minions were in attendance, stuffing their faces while they could.)

Kagekao was sitting on a heap of stacked wine bottles, trying to pour himself more. It sloshed everywhere but the full moon glass, on account of his hand being unsteady.

After his fifth failed attempt, the heavy, blazing white tablecloth underneath him was drenched with a fine spray of fruity-smelling wine.

The merry minions laughed harder.

Zalgo roared louder, wiping hysterical tears from his glazed-over eyes.

His chair tipped like a bowling pin, and sent him sprawling facedown to the floor in a mass of chuckles and swishy tail.

The prince of darkness didn't mind, and simply staggered back to his feet. He drunkenly gripped his seat and pulled it up with one hand, claws leaving deep chasms in the wood.

To the disappointment of onlookers, a sharp-toothed crazy thing swooped in and prevented Zalgo from returning to his place.

"I think it would be best if Lord Zalgo retired for the night. My apologies," said an unapologetic Smirky, to the groaning crowd.

A minion cupped its hands over its mouth and booed.

Securing one of Zalgo's arms around his shoulder, Smirky quickly dragged his master out of the hall. Zalgo slumped to his side, still snickering under his breath.

They heard Kagekao yell out a slurred swear; followed by the crystalline 'tching!' of broken glass.

(Soon, howling laugher drowned out any memory of the interruption, and the party resumed in full swing, if not wilder.)

As they moved further into the labyrinth of confusing halls, the sounds of the party faded out, tapered off into nothing but distant booms of sound.

At last, the door to Zalgo's room popped into sight.

Smirky bit his lip in concentration and struggled to produce the key from his pocket, while supporting the drunken demon.

In a single slip of error, Zalgo's arm slid off his shoulder. His claws caught on the back of his shirt, seamlessly tearing it silently on the way down.

With a crisp thud, he faceplanted on the floor.

The sharp-toothed crazy thing cringed, clapping a hand over his eyes. One could almost hear his mental chant of: "Idiot! Idiot!"

Mustering up courage, he peeked through his fingers.

It looked like a murder scene body, minus the blood and the death.

"Um... You'll forget I did that, won't you?"

"It'll be our little secrrrrret," trilled Zalgo, speech changing from schoolgirly pitch to suave deep.