We're All Crazy Here! [Creepypasta Fanfiction]

40: A Double-Sided Apple Of Deceit

They started a verbal fight, rather than a physical one.

Over the topic of nail polish.

It was the most ridiculous thing you could imagine. But then again, they were creepypastas, and creepypastas were known to be crazy.

"There's nothing wrong with wearing nail polish if it makes you feel comfortable!"

"That's fine and dandy, but for the last time – I am not wearing nail polish! As a matter of a fact, this entire subject has no relevance to the plotline whatsoever!"

"You don't have to deny these things; secrets make for bad thinking!"

"Oh, for Zaglo's sakes...!" Smirky shook his head, exasperated.

Laughing Jack resisted the urge to throw back his head and cackle like a mad clown.

He wasn't just doing it to wind Smirky up (although, such a satisfying little bonus was to his liking); he was loosening his tongue.

The illusionist had been apathetic at their ill-fated meeting's beginning; uninterested, and wallowing in lethargy to boot.

But now, the drowsy villain had woken up – and he was getting louder, stronger.

"Something went wrong when you were born, clearly. Get it through your thick skull; I. Am. Not-"

"I was created," L.J corrected slowly. "You're very confused." 

That was the last straw.

A dangerous growl rumbled deep within Smirky's throat. It broke fatigue's silver gate, brought him into a fleeting moment of wakefulness.

Without a trace of his previous sleep-thick tone, his next words became a distorted shout, teeth bared towards the source of his frustration.

"WhAT dO yOU wANt FrOM mE?! LEavE Me iN pEACe, yOU
PerVErSE-
ViLE-
INFURIATING sPaWn Of thE dEviL!"

The glitch effect wore off immediately after his outburst. His voice reverted to its usual unusual tone, albeit subdued.

"You'll tell me everything you know?" L.J chimed in, perking up.

And that's the story of how Laughing Jack made an unintentional discovery; prolonged annoyance dealt a bigger blow to Smirky's psyche than the promise of torture.

"... Will you take yourself, and your hideous mouth, out of this room if I do?"

"Yup. Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye."

And, just like that, Smirky sighed in defeat and slumped his shoulders, hands going behind his back. "What do you want to know?"

L.J was happy to lay out his demands, inner lie detector on hyper mode. If Smirky did so much as twitch in a suspicious way, he'd see it.

"Okay. Let's start with basics: What have you done with Smiley? What exactly is Zalgo planning? And, are you still in denial about the nail polish?"

The last one was pure cheek.

The illusionist seated himself on the edge of his bed. After noticing something heavy at close hand, he looked to a side to see what it was.

A certain demonic bedtime storybook; carelessly tossed by L.J. Going a little pink in the face, Smirky pinched the spine and swiftly flung it high over his shoulder.