Hetalia One Shot Book

America x Reader

Requested by: Hetalia_Greenland

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(d/h/c) = different hair color.

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A/N:

I took experiences of my self harming into this story. So please know that the facts about the feeling is absolutely true.

(Story not yet checked for grammatical errors)

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It's been almost two years since Alfred and I have been together. Lately, he has been hanging out with his friends. Which doesn't really bother me, but what does is that I feel like he's purposely going over to his friend's just to get away from me. I have to admit, I am kind of clingy, but he said it didn't other him. Maybe it actually did?

I sighed as I looked down at the laptop that was on my bed. The bright screen was the only thing giving light into the room besides the window. I was on (favorite social media site) like always. Even my favorite place on the internet didn't help me forget about my problems.

After a long, five hour attempt to get the situation, I closed my laptop and pushed it aside. Food was my first choice is comfort, though it just made me feel worse about myself than better.

'It's still day out, so I might as well just go out to the mall or something.' I thought.

After a half an hour, I was fully dressed in my favorite outfit and got walked over to the mall. I walked over to my favorite clothing store, (favorite store). I looked at the cute dresses and actually bought a few before going to the food court to get something to eat.

I order my usual thing at the(favorite restaurant) section and sat down at one of the random seats in the area. It didn't really take that long until I finished my meal. Even after eating, I just sat there like a bump on a log and just thought of how sad I must of looked.

'Come on (f/n), I came here to forget about my problems. I should just go to Victoria's Secret and look around before I go back home.' I pep talked myself before grabbing my bags that were sitting on the seat next to me. With my bags in hand, I went into VS and started looking at random stuff to just waste some time.

Nothing really interested be besides just a couple random things. So with the few items in hands, I started walking towards to the end of the line to the cashier. A couple was at the end. A girl taller than me with pretty, (d/h/c) hair was standing with a guy with blonde hair...and a piece of hair sticking up. As I got closer to them, I realized that it was definitely Alfred. My eyes started to water as I watched the two of them laugh, Alfred side hugging the girl. I finally got the courage to speak, my voice trembling as I did.

"A-Alfred?" He turned around, shocked to see me here. He let go of the girl before trying to think of what he was going to say. "You said you were hanging up with your friends t-today." I mumbled as I tried to rub my eyes with things in my hand.

"(F/n), I can explain, really!" He whispered/shouted and looked back at the girl who was obviously confused about the whole situation.

I threw the items that I was going to buy at him before running out of the store. Even though he wanted to talk his way out if it, I didn't want to hear it.I ran back into the front door of my house. My legs were burning from how much I ran, but I didn't really care at the moment.

I locked my door and ran to my bedroom, locking that door as well. Tears were falling down my face as I slid down on the ground. I huddled myself into a ball before crying out.

Then, something came into mind. I crawled over to my bed and pulled a box from under it. Upon opening it, there was a few razors and bandages. It was obvious that they haven't been used in a long time.

'Clean for a bout...a year. Since we've been together.'  I thought to myself as I picked a razor up and observed it.  'Maybe if I do this, we could do it....all over again.'

((( Flash Back)))

I looked at my phone that was bursting with texts from my best friend, Alfred. He was the only one who knew that I was cutting.  When I was tempted to cut, he would tell me that I'm beautiful and that I had my whole the life ahead of me. Most of the time it worked, but today it didn't.

Family issues, school, bullies, depression, 'friends' pushing me into doing drugs...it didn't feel like I had anything to live for.

With tear filled eyes, I grabbed my favorite razor and looked at my phone one more time. They were all the same like, 'are you okay?' or 'please answer', but one really caught my eye.

'I'm coming over. Please don't hurt yourself.'

I ignored the message and turned off my phone. He wouldn't get here on time, anyway.

With a deep breathe, I held the razor tight as I started to make a new line in my already cut arm. It wasn't painful like the first time. My skin was used to me cutting into it already. Pain was already dull to a point where I almost couldn't feel it anymore.

I watched as little beads of red started to show and fall down my arm. I did another cut and another until my arm was full of cuts. Red painted my arm and the wooden planks of the floor as I sat in the corner of my room.

My vision started to get blurry and I started to get a little worried about my condition. I was about to grab the bandages that were on my bed, but then I noticed someone talking downstairs. The voice sounded worried and was calling my name. MY NAME. I glanced at the clock and noticed that it has been a half an hour.

'Alfred's here!' I mentally yelled.

Footsteps raced upstairs and calling could be heard. I couldn't let him see me after he told me not to. So, I rushed into the bathroom that was connected to my bedroom and locked it right before he opened my bedroom door.

I was sitting in the bath tub in darkness. Curtains were pulled so I would still be hidden if he came in. I prayed that he wouldn't find me, but I know that the blood in my room would tell him to keep searching.

Without any warning, the bathroom door flung open and the light was turned on. I instinctively grabbed onto my arm, as I heard the shower curtain being pulled out.I fearfully looked up to see Alfred looking down at me, crying. he kneeled down and grabbed my arm carefully  to look at it.

"Why couldn't you just wait until I got here?" he said, chocking on his own words. I looked at him in shock. He shouldn't be the one that's crying. It should be me.

"I...." I couldn't think of anything to say. I just looked down, ashamed of myself. "I'm sorry."

He pulled me out of the tub and wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Please, no more."

(((Present)))

I walked over to the corner of the room and looked at my arm. The scars were all healed and barely visible. It was a little sad to see myself back into this scenario.

The blade was laying in my arm, about to slice skin again. But just like that one day, messages from my phone. He was coming here again. I sighed and was glad I remembered to lock the bedroom door this time. I had only a half an hour until he shows up again.

Like I was trying to win a race, I started slicing my arm over and over again. It was more painful than usual since it has been a while. Pain was off the charts, but the feeling of nostalgia was even stronger. It felt great to come back after a year.

And just like the last time, time passed my mind and foot steps could be heard coming up the stairs. This time, I didn't even try to run.

It only a couple of minutes for Alfred to break the door open. He looked to the corner as if knowing I'll be there and ran over. He pulled me into his chest as he started to cry.

"(F/n), she was just my cousin! She was helping me find you an present for our two year anniversary!" He said, squeezing me a little, not caring if any blood gets on him. I looked at him, his tears falling onto my face. Just from looking at his face, I could tell he was telling the truth. "Why couldn't you just wait?"

"I'm sorry."

Maybe we could do this

All over again...?