In The End

Chapter 9 - My Only Comfort

Eliza could feel Draco's eyes burning into the back of her head as she sat alone at the Slytherin table in the Great Hall. She absent-mindedly pushed the peas around her plate, feeling sick to her stomach at the mere sight of food.

Christmas break was in two weeks time - and she was anything but ready. An owl had arrived from her uncle a few days prior, telling her that she would be spending Christmas with him so that they could attend meetings together. The thought of having to lie to her father ate away at her, even more than the thought of being in the same room as Voldemort again.

Apparently, they were all staying together again - like a family. How was she going to pretend that everything was just fine? How could she possibly hide the absolute mess she had gotten herself into? To her dad, she was still his sweet, innocent little girl... if only he knew how unworthy she was of either of those words.

The sudden urge to throw up hit her like a freight train and she quickly stood up and strode out of the Great Hall, not looking back. As she made it around the corner of the corridor, she leaned against the wall, breathing heavily. 

The sensation of her entire being crumbling apart into tiny, insignificant pieces was all she could think about. The weight of her burdens had hit her hard and she wasn't prepared to shoulder it all.

Amidst all her swirling worries, she was barely able to identify the sound of footsteps, steadily approaching. In a way, the sound was comforting - it gave her something else to focus on.

It didn't take long for her to figure out who it was.

"What do you want?" she snapped, whipping around and meeting Draco's startled eyes with a harshness he had never seen in her before.

The sight of it sent chills down Draco's spine.

"I- I just wanted to see if you were alright," he replied honestly, almost gently?

Eliza didn't know what to think anymore. This certainly wasn't what she was expecting him to say and right now, her brain was so clouded, she was struggling to even form proper sentences.

"I'm fine," she lied, clenching her jaw tightly and refusing to meet his eyes.

Draco opened his mouth to speak, but quickly glanced behind him as he heard the sound of footsteps approaching.

"Come with me," he whispered, before offering a hand to her.

Reluctantly, Eliza grabbed it and let him lead her away to an empty space on the corridor wall. Eliza wasn't surprised to see a familiar door form, but when Draco opened it and dragged her inside, she was surprised to find that it was not the old, dusty storeroom that she had expected to see. Instead, she found herself in a small room with a fireplace with no furnishings save a single sofa. Perhaps the vanishing cabinet wasn't Draco's top priority at that moment...

Draco turned to face Eliza and took a deep breath, "I'm sorry."

Eliza avoided his gaze, unsure what to make of his unexpected apology.

"I didn't know it was your first kiss. I would never have tried anything if I had known," he continued, his tone gentle, "I've been a real git and you deserve better."

Eliza was struggling to process what she had just heard. All she could do was stare at him, open-mouthed and watch him as he squirmed uncomfortably under her gaze.

"Merlin's beard, say something!" he blurted out, reverting back to his stubborn, arrogant self.

Eliza took a shaky breath, trying desperately to calm her own heart rate after the panic she had just experienced.

"I forgive you," Eliza sighed, "I wasn't that upset about it anyway. I guess a first kiss doesn't mean that much anyway. I mean, what's the point in worrying about that kind of stuff anyway? I could die any day and it won't have mattered at all in the end," she shrugged, her eyes falling to the floor, not betraying the emotions she was feeling right under the surface.

Eliza's morbid statement sent Draco's hair on end. 

"Don't say that," he replied weakly, lowering his head slightly to try to meet her eyes.

"Why not?" Eliza chuckled in disbelief, "he doesn't know I'm a muggleborn. When he finds out, I'm as good as dead!"

"He's not going to find out," Draco said sternly, resting his hands on her shoulders and looking her in the eye.

"And what makes you so certain?" she asked angrily.

"I won't let that happen," he returned harshly, his face mere inches away from her own.

"Why should I believe you? You've never cared about me!" she asked, raising her voice.

"That's what you think!" he yelled back.

"Stop lying!" she shouted, pushing him away and moving towards the sofa.

She couldn't take it anymore. All of her emotions came barrelling through at once and her legs finally gave in, letting her collapse onto the sofa, her face buried in her hands.

And then the tears fell. Tried as she did, she just couldn't hold them in any longer, despite the fact that Draco Malfoy of all people, was right there in the same room watching her fall apart. 

All she could do was sit there hunched over, sobbing, her tears leaking through her hands and racing down her cheeks.

Through the darkness, a warm pair of arms closed around her and pulled her in. She could hear Draco's racing heart as she rested her head against his steady chest, still sobbing uncontrollably. She felt so confused. Why was he there? Why was he comforting her?

As Draco held her close, he pushed away all of the intrusive thoughts he had about helping a 'mudblood'. All he could do was hold her and watch helplessly as her tears continued to fall. 

"I do care about you. I don't want you to hurt like this," he whispered, stroking her soft hair.

"Y-you don't unders-stand!" Eliza sobbed, "I h-have to see my father soon and h-he doesn't know..."

"He doesn't know what?" Draco asked softly.

"He doesn't know what I am," Eliza looked up at him helplessly, clutching his chest, "I'll never forgive myself for this. What if I have to hurt people? What if I have to," Eliza's voice was barely a whisper, "kill people?"

Draco's heart dropped at her words and he fought back the hard lump forming in his throat. He knew all too well what it felt like to worry about those things and the worst part was that he couldn't tell her that wouldn't happen.

All he could do was draw her in again and as he tightly embraced her, he whispered, "You'll be okay. I'll make sure of it. I'll be here for you... whatever it takes."

A single tear escaped him as he uttered these words. Even he had been surprised by his silent confession. His deepest, darkest feelings were coming to the surface and there was nothing he could do to hide them from Eliza. He wasn't even sure he wanted to anymore.

Eliza lifted herself so that she could look at him. He felt a jolt in his stomach as he looked into her eyes, which were a light blue now. They were red and glossy and her tears had caused her long, dark eyelashes to clump together, but there was something strangely beautiful about her this way.

"Really?" she asked shakily. 

Draco had never seen her so vulnerable before.

"Yes, really," he replied firmly, giving her a stormy gaze.

Eliza nodded in understanding and rested her head on his chest, letting her legs lay more comfortably across the sofa now. Draco lay there too, still holding her. He felt more relaxed now that the crying had subsided.

They both slept surprisingly well that night, in each other's arms. After all the sleepless nights and the downpour of emotions, they were both so exhausted that there was nothing left to do but let the darkness embrace them.