I'll Look After You

Chapter 17

Chapter 17.

1 Year Later.

The shrill cries of my daughter pulled me from my sleep. I looked over a the clock beside my bed to see it's only five but I'd be getting no more sleep. I reached over into the moses basket and pulled out my crying princess. 

"I'll get the bottle!" I heard Alfie yell from the hall. I rocked Macy in my arms trying to get her shrill screams to stop whilst her dad worked on getting the bottle. A few minutes later my bedroom door opened and in walked Alfie, flicking the light on as he went. He handed me the warm bottl.

"Thanks." I took it and placed it into our two weeks old mouth. 

"I could do it if you want a couple more hours sleep? I keep telling you I'll take her in mine and Cory's room." He offered and sure enough Cory appeared in the bedroom door as if he knew he was going to be mentioned. 

"We don't mind!" He grinned at me. "She's a little princess!" Cory walked into the room and wrapped his arm around his boyfriend. 

"It would be fabulous..." I considered it. 

"Just like you!" Cory grinned as he reached for Macy. I handed her over making sure the bottle stayed in her mouth. He left the room cooing over his step-daughter. 

"I'm such a lucky man." Alfie admired his partner who dissapeared into their room. 

"And I'm a lucky girl to have you both." I settled back down into my bed. 

"Sleep tight." He flicked off the light and shut my door going to join Cory whilst I got a couple more hours sleep in. I really was lucky to have them, and lucky that I had Alfie who gave me the best gift in the world, my daughter. Yes, he's gay and sleeping with me nine months ago proved that but when we found out I was pregnant who supported me the entire way, happy to be a dad! I've always wanted to be a mum, even a teen mum, the earlier the better. There's nothing else I wanted more in the world then to be a mum and I got my wish without the irrisponsible father who would disapear. Of course, Alfie could have dissapeared if he wanted to but he hasn't and he and Cory are my best friends. We were lucky to find Cory also, it takes a lot to understand that Alfie was gay but having a baby with me but he did and he jumped on the bandwagon of support through my pregnancy and moved in a month before Macy was born so he could take care of his step-daughter who treats her as his own. She was lucky, most girls lacked even one father, but she has two dads AND a mum. She's a very spoilt girl and she's only been in the world for two weeks but she was probably the most loved baby on the planet. 

I found my mind wondering back to Harry... what would it be like if I was having his baby? I know if I was still with him I wouldn't be a mum for a while he's too busy with his career and it just wouldn't be right. But with Alfie, a completely normal day-to-day person it was possible and it has happened. Three months after my dramatic break up with Harry, which had been plastered everywhere, Alfie and I ended up sleeping together. We love each other, yes, but not in the way I loved Harry. We were both lonely and it just kind of happened at that night made Alfie realise he is definitely gay. But he lets me know very often how he's glad he lost his virginity to me because I'm the most important woman in his life. He makes me feel special. But Harry still owns my heart. It hurts everytime I see him with other girls, it hurts whenever I see him full stop. 

The sad thing is I probably never cross his mind, he probably can barely remember my name, yet he's always on my mind. When I lack the distraction of Macy I fall back into the heartbroken teenager that I am. I'm only seventeen and I know that I won't be like this forever even though it feels like I will. I'm constantly having nightmares or flashbacks of him hitting me and it breaks my heart all over again. Adults look at teenagers and think it's ridiculous that  they say their in love, I used to look at teenagers and think it's ridiculous, but it's not. It's not ridiculous at all because it's true, it's happened to me. It's been a year and I'm still not over him and I don't think I'll ever be 'over him'. He'll always be my first love. My first kiss. My first. I'll always love him even when I'm not in love with him.

"Ade..." Alfie's voice whispered into my ear. I woke up from my sleep to realise I was crying. "Have you been thinking about him again?" He asked from behind me. I turned into his embrace.

"I love him Alf. I hate him for this... but I love him." I sobbed. 

"I know. I just wish I could take it away, I want you to be happy." He kissed my head lightly as he stroked my back comfortingly. This wasn't a rare thing. I'd often have dreams which caused me to cry in my sleep and he'd always come to comfort me. 

"You've made me happy." I told him.

"Good." He hugged me tighter. 

"How about we go show Macy the park?" Cory's voice entered the room. I looked up from Alfie's chest to see him stood in the doorway with Macy in his arms. I smiled and nodded. 

"That sounds good." I climbed out of the bed and took Macy from Cory's arms. "Does that sound good my little princess?" I smiled down at my daughter. I am happy. Alfie has made me happy, that wasn't a lie. I pushed Harry to the back of my mind once again and focused on my daughter. Alfie and Cory left the room to get ready and I sat on my bed looking down at my beautiful, wonderful daughter. "You're my angel, you know that?" He big blue eyes looked up at me. "You make my life worth living and I will give you the best life I can. You're all I've ever wanted and you couldn't of come at a better time." 

I got up and began setting about getting ready for the day. I'd live every day with the pain of Harry just to make sure that Macy was happy, I'd give her everything I could, she'll want for nothing. She'll always have me and her two daddy's. She'll always come first. She'll always be loved. That I can count on.