Gravity

Chapter 24.

"I deserved to be treated this way." - Haneen Muhammad, Gravity.

Chapter 24.

~ Haneen Muhammad ~

I watched as Hammad told the whole story to Safa. Safa's expressions changed and that's when I knew I should no longer be there. The news spread rapidly and before I knew it, the whole family knew what I had done. I had told Omar because I didn't want to feel guilty. But now the whole family knew that it was because of me that Safa had nearly died.

Hammad walked outside the room and saw me standing there, lost in my thoughts. He clenched his teeth when he looked at me and then almost stomped his way down the hospital hallway. A tear ran down my cheek but I quickly wiped it away. I deserved to be treated this way.

A few hours later, I went inside Safa's room and saw her eyes closed. "Safa..." I said in a low voice. She immediately opened her eyes and glared at me.

"Get out!" she said in her crooked voice, using her finger to emphasize her anger. I gulped.

"I am sorry," I said.

"I don't care. Get out!" she said. I closed my eyes in complete helplessness.

"My own sister tried to kill me? Are you even my sister?" she scolded me. I walked closer to her bed.

"Stay away Haneen! Please just go. You're going to worsen my health. Out!" she looked away. With tears in my eyes, I left the room.

Outside the room were mama and baba, who also were furious and angry. What had I done?

"Haneen you should go home right now and stay there until further notice," mama said in a cold tone. I nodded lightly and walked down the hospital hallway. I quickly scurried past the counters and left the building as quickly as I could. I had really messed up. I should have never talked to Abdul. I should have reported him to the police while I still could. I got inside the car and started the engine. Within the next 2 minutes, I had gotten out of the hospital parking and on the road. I was headed home. To my little prison for God knew how long.

I reached home and was greeted by the stray cat who was always following me for some reason. In frustration I lightly pushed her away with my foot and unlocked the front door. I went inside and locked the door. The house was so quiet that I felt like I was hallucinating. There was no one in the house—just me. It had never happened before and so I was becoming scared. Even though it was only 2 in the afternoon, I felt like someone was already there in the house. Someone ready to kill me. I pushed that thought away and made my way to the kitchen to grab something to eat. I made myself a peanut butter sandwich and made my way up to my room. I opened the door and threw myself on my bed. I didn't feel like eating the sandwich anymore. What was happening? Everyone hated me.

Did I deserve that?

"Of course. Of course," I said to myself. I was satisfied that I was a bad girl and I had accepted it. So as to celebrate the acceptance, I took a bite of my sandwich. I was ok. Yes I was a bad girl.

"No I am not!" I shouted to myself. I was going crazy. I stood up in frustration with my hands in my hair. I wasn't a bad girl. I needed somebody to talk to.

Hafsa? Haya? No. None of them would listen to me. They all know. Everyone knows. No one will listen to me.

Any of my friends? Yes. That's an option. I picked my phone up and dialed my friend Laila's number.

"Hi Laila. I need to talk," I said as soon as she picked up.

"I am listening honey," she said. Honey was my nickname. Not something she said to be affectionate towards me.