(written by MrsNiallHoran :3)
-- Niall's POV --
"Oh, you're finally awake."
I dragged myself into the kitchen, holding one hand to my churning stomach and using the other to shield my eyes from the light. My head was pounding, felt like I was being hit over and over again with a sledgehammer. Every throb made me wince, and Liam frowned as I plopped down at the kitchen table.
"Are you alright, love?"
"My fuckin' head is pounding." I grumbled, lowering my head slowly onto the table, arms wrapped around it.
"D'you really have to swear in every sentence?" he chuckled, and I didn't reply, didn't feel like it. "You hungry?" he asked, and I shook my head slightly. Usually, I'd be starving right now, but my stomach was doing flips and even the thought of food made me fee sick. "Okay. D'you need an Advil or something?" he questioned, and I grunted in reply, my head pounding too hard to really even think, much less form a reply. I heard him opening cabinents and shuffling around and then the sound of water, and then I lifted my head slowly right as he placed a glass of water in front of me, handing me an Advil tablet. I was going to thank him, but then winced at how badly my head hurt and couldn't really reply. I popped the tablet into my mouth and gulped down half of the glass, setting it back on the table afterwards. Ugh, even the smell of the food he was cooking made me feel sick. "I think you drank a little too much last night."
"Really? You don't say?" I snapped sarcastically, and instead of being offended, Liam just chuckled.
"Jeez, someone's snarky."
"Of course I'm snarky." I muttered, laying my head back down on the table.
"At least the bachelor party was fun." he replied, always the eternal optimist, and I assumed he went back to cooking since I heard the sizzling noise of whatever he was cooking.
"I barely even remember any of it."
"You got drunk, insisted upon dancing for a couple hours, - which I don't know how you managed since you couldn't even walk straight - and then you started complaining about how tired you were, and then you spent an hour mumbling about something about the wedding, I could barely understand you, and then you started whining about how hungry you were and begged me to take you home."
Something about the wedding? Did I say anything about how I thought that maybe us getting married was a bad idea? No, I must have not. If I would've, then Liam would've been upset about it. He was all-for the wedding, so excited about it and totally 100% sure that he wanted to marry me. I, on the other hand... Wasn't so certain. I mean, what if we were rushing into things? What if we were too young to get married, and we'd just end up getting divorced? "Liam?" I began, raising my head. Liam didn't turn around, just made a noise to tell me he was listening. "Come over here and sit down. Don't ask me why, just do." I said, and he turned around, looking confused and curious as he slowly sat down across from me, clasping my hands, resting on the table, in his. "Can I ask you something?"
"Of course, love. What is it?"
"Do... Do you think we're too young to get married?" I asked, and he frowned, looking taken aback now, as if he didn't understand the question.
"What? Of course not. If I thought we're too young, I would've waited to propose. Why? Do... You think we are?" he asked now, and I abruptly shook my head.
"No, of course not. I was just making sure." I replied quickly, and Liam smiled.
"Great. Just think, in just a while, we'll truly be each other's - forever. No more being alone, no more going out to parties and just randomly hooking up with people, no more having to go out to some bar with the boys on the weekends... Now it'll just be you and me, and on the weekends, we can just stay here together and watch movies or something. And we won't have to find somebody just for the night, because now we'll have each other forever. We won't have to go out and get drunk just for something to do. We'll be settled down together, just you and me." he explained dreamily, and I hated myself for how nervous and scared all those things he said made me feel.
I forced a smile. "Yeah. Can't wait."
Liam squeezed my hands gently, still with that bright smile, and then got up and went back to my cooking. I felt horrible lying to him, and I hated the fact that those things he said didn't make me excited. No more parties, no more bars with the boys, no more fun... We'd be settling down. I... I didn't know if I could do that, settle down, I mean. I didn't know if I was ready to give up the parties, give up the drinking, give up going out to the bars with the boys and getting drunk and raising absolute hell. I wouldn't be able to do that anymore. I'd be tied down, having to stay at home with my husband while all my friends partied and had fun...
"Is it hot in here?" I asked, suddenly feeling incredibly hot and enclosed, feeling very... Claustrophobic, all of a sudden. I felt nervous and scared and was it just me or did it just get like twenty degrees hotter in here?
"I don't think so. D'you want me to turn the thermostat down?"
"Y-Yeah... That'd be nice." I replied, suddenly feeling out of breath, my heart rate picking up. Liam walked over to the thermostat and turned it down, and then glanced over at me, frowning.
"Are you okay, babe? You look really pale."
At this point, the weight of all this commitment really hit me hard, and I felt as though I was buckling under the pressure. All the stress of planning the wedding, of these thoughts of mine, was really getting to me, and I was practically hyperventilating by now, breathing shallowly in and out at an abnormally fast speed. Liam looked incredibly concerned, and as I really realized all of this stuff I was committing to, everything I was giving up, I just snapped.
"N-No, I'm not okay." I replied, shaking my head and standing up. My legs were wobbly and I fell into the table a bit, leaning on it to hold myself up. Liam was immediately over at my side to help me, grasping my arm and trying to steady me out, but I shook off his grip. "I-I... I c-can't do this."
"What do you mean?"
"I-I'm not ready to get m-married, I'm n-n-not ready to settle down! I... I c-can't handle this... I need t-to leave, t-t-to get some... Some air, o-or something..."
"Niall? What the hell are you talking about?" he asked, walking quickly after me as I stumbled towards the front door. "Where are you going?"
I shook my head rapidly back and forth, ignoring how much it hurt and how dizzy it made me. I couldn't breathe, it was way too hot in here, I felt almost claustrophobic, like I was trapped in a small space and there just wasn't any room to breathe or move or anything... Once I got to the front door, I turned towards Liam, full-on hyperventilating now. I glanced down at my left hand and then proceeded to pull the engagement ring off of my finger, shoving it into Liam's hand as if it was a poisonous animal. "I-I can't d-do this. I... I'm s-sorry."
And with that, I turned and pretty much ran out of the house, dialing Zayn's number to come pick me up on the way.
