therapy

» change me

The soles of her shoes didn't stop her senses from feeling the concrete underneath her. The earbuds dangled from her pocket as she searched for melodies on her phone. Behind her, a voice buzzed and her nervous system tensed up.

"Please stop." Her voice was fragile as if it dared the world to shatter it as if there was anything left to shatter.

That shirt exposes every inch of skin. Better if you went out naked. I can literally see your underwear. What will the neighbors think? Who do you think we are? Lately, you've lost it all.

Her head dropped down to her body; it was covered by a t-shirt and she wore leggings. She had a jacket on and the t-shirt went all the way past her stomach and a little down her torso, to her thighs. She didn't understand what she was exposing. Maybe the bittersweet tears she was suppressing in her eyes are what she is exposing. She's exposing the most vulnerable part of her. A body can heal, but a soul can't.

Go change right now. The hand grabbed her and shoved her into the house. The doctor's words ran through her mind as she walked to her closet.

"You need to find something to do that will relax you. Go for a run. Go for a jog. It will release dopamine neurotransmitters that are natural opiates. Take care of yourself now, or else you won't even be alive to take care of yourself. It will be too late."

She laughed and dug her nails into her palm as the voice continued to buzz. This was supposed to be her time but like everything that made her happy, it got snatched away.

She put on an extra-long shirt and a jacket. The earbuds entered their homes on the sides of her brain and she left the house with the voice trailing behind her. "Please stop."

The voice muttered underneath their breaths and walked side by side with her. She didn't pay any attention to them. She stared straight into the road as people brushed against her. They didn't notice how she was on the edge of tears, walking on a tightrope. "Please stop."

The night sprawled in front of her and her brain forced her to stop in her tracks. She looked up and noticed the twinkling stars—so far away and so free from a world dying from the corrupted pressure.

Peace entered her body and she forgot about the day, about how the voice wanted to change her, about how there are many voices like the one next to her. She forgot that she was just a tiny speck in this large galaxy. It was as if she was a judge now, taking notes on the stars who were all guilty of being too beautiful.