What If? ↭ Hunhan/Chanbaek

I'm Sorry

((Mentions of self harm in this chapter sorry))
((Also sorry for time skips it just helps progress the story))

Luhan's POV ((Saturday))

Its been two week since I started ignoring Sehun, just like he had told me to. But instead of losing my feelings they were getting stronger. Stronger to the point that I had to use all my strength not to cry every time I saw him. It's stupid, it's all so fucking stupid, I'm 17 I shouldn't care about love this much. Like my mom always told me, don't care about love when you're young just be a kid and enjoy it. Yet here I am on a Saturday curled up in my house crying for the god knows what day in a row and I was getting tired of it.

I grabbed my hair, pulling it and sitting up. No one was home at the moment, both my parents at work and Baek was with Chanyeol, so I was left alone with my thoughts which wasn't great. I got up, trudging to my bathroom and stripping, stepping ender the scolding hot water letting it run over and turn my body red. I quickly washed my hair and body but stayed standing under the water, staring at the wall.

When I finally got out my skin was red and sensitive due to the temperature of the water, but I didn't care. I wrapped the towel around my waist after drying my hair and went to walk back into my room when something shiny caught my eye, something I haven't used in at least a year and a half. Shaking my head and sighing I ignored it, walking into my room and pulling on a clean pair of boxers and some sweatpants before laying back on my bed and drifting to sleep.

**

I woke up a few hours later, breathing heavily while tears streamed down my face. I had another nightmare about him and I was tired of having them. I got up, yet again trudging to the bathroom and grabbing the shiny object from before, the one thing I promised myself not to use again. A blade. Picking it up and sighing I wiped the remaining tears from my face, holding the blade to my wrist while shaking.

"This is for falling in love with him in the first place, for letting him hurt me, for getting too attached." I whispered to myself, sliding the blade along my forearm, watching as the blood ran down my arm some of it dripping onto the floor.

I continued dragging the cold piece of metal along, making horizontal and slanted lines, my salty tears mixing with the red. I stopped my vision getting blurry, so I put the blade back where it was and ran water over my forearm. Wincing as the stinging I heard a knock on the front door, so wrapped it and threw on Sehun's jacket that was hanging on my door, not bothering to zip it before going downstairs and opening the door.

"Lu!" Baekhyun yelled, hugging me tightly. Chanyeol just stood being him laughing quietly at his boyfriends childish behavior.

"Hey Baek what's up?" I questioned, letting them walk in and closing the door behind them.

"Nothing just came to make sure you were okay babe!" Baekhyun said, excitedly sitting on the couch while Chanyeol and I rolled out eyes smiling at him.

"Nice abs." Chanyeol chuckled, poking my stomach.

"I was too lazy to zip it." I shrugged, smiling at him and we joined Baekhyun on the couch.

**

We talked for a while and Baekhyun decided we should cook some food so he grabbed my left wrist fairly tight to pull me up. A yelp escaped my lips from the pain that shot through my forearm and I pulled my arm away, holding it and sitting back on the couch. Baekhyun and Chanyeol stared at me.

"Lu... Show me your arm..." Baekhyun said shakily. He knew about my past of doing this to myself and I could see the pain in his eyes, like he knew what I did.

"It's nothing Baek really my wrist just still hurts from when... Sehun..twisted it. So let's go make food" I forced a smile and went to walk to the kitchen.

Baek grabbed my hand, looking at me sadly and pulled my jacket sleeve up to my elbow and unwrapping the bandage, gasping when he saw the line some going deeper than others. He looked up at me with tear filled eyes and I wrapped my arms around his neck hugging him tightly.

"Why..." He asked, wrapping his arms around my torso.

"I... Just everything happening...with Sehun." I explained, pulling back and standing in front of him.

"You two need to talk." Chanyeol said, standing up and give Baekhyun a side hug as he cuddled into the taller.

"Chanyeol he doesn't want anything to do with me, he made that clear this entire week. And right now I don't want anything to do with him either." I sighed.

"I know what he's done, just let him explain." Chanyeol said, and at that moment I hear a knock on the front door.

My eyes widened as Chanyeol zipped my jacket and pushed me towards the door. I sighed and opened it, seeing Sehun standing there looking at the ground.

Sehun's POV

I sighed, knocking on Luhan's front door and staring at the ground. Hearing the door opened I looked up, seeing Luhan wearing my jacket and some sweatpants. He looked tired, but also like he's been crying his eyes were slightly red and my eyes traveled down to his arm. My eyes widened as I saw the red lines littering his left forearm since his sleeve was pushed up I could easily see them.

Apparently he noticed me staring at them as he harshly pulled his sleeve down, it covered it hand as well since it was too big for him. "What do you want?" He asked coldly.

"Luhan we need to talk. I need to explain." I said, looking at his face silently begging for him to listen to me.

"We'll be leaving then. You two talk it out." Chanyeol spoke, walking past and patting Luhan's shoulder, and Baekhyun giving him a quick hug before they left.

"Can I come in?" I asked, scratching the back of my neck awkwardly. Luhan nodded and let me in as we sat on the couch.

I explained everything from my mom and dad to my previous two relationships, as well as why I said and acted how I did. "Please forgive me Lu... I regret everything I did." I begged, looking at my lap.

I felt Luhan's arms wrap around my torso as he nuzzled his head into the crook of my neck. I put my arm over his shoulders and a sigh escaped my lips. "I forgive you, but please don't leave me again..."

"I won't I promise, I'll protect you from now on." I replied, kissing the top of Luhan's hair.

Everything was okay. I'll make sure it stays this way.