My Random Romance

Sometimes...

Sometimes, I don't want to be me. I don't want to have emotions. I don't want to feel anything. People at school are terrible. They say things about my best friend and I behind our backs and silently judge us.

I used to think that school was fun and exciting. Now it's just bad. All of the people, there's just too many of them. We are the outcasts, and sometimes it would just be nice to fit in and be accepted for once.

When I was younger, I thought that it was fun and okay to be different, I was just a little kid. Now I don't feel like it is. I'm not like other girls. I'm too tall, I'm not skinny, I don't think that I'm very pretty. My family tells me I'm perfect the way I am.

I tell my parents almost everything. But I don't tell them how insecure about myself I am. I don't think that they would understand. I know everyone judges me, I hear them sometimes. I can feel them looking at me. Some days I just don't want to go to school, I don't want to even leave the house.

I like a certain boy at my school, and he even knows, but he never said anything. He likes my best friend. She doesn't even know how painful it is for me when he sits by us and she says that the reason he sat by us, or he's talking to us is because he likes her. Not me. And it hurts me. No boy has ever liked me. So, I'm going to try and be less weird. Less...happy. I'm tired of being happy all of the time. People think that I'm all sweet and innocent, but really, I'm just tired of being ignored, and forgotten. So I keep it all inside, and it works for a while, until it gets to painful to keep it inside. And I get scared that if I tell someone they'll judge me.

If you got down to this part, thanks for reading. I was a little nervous about posting this, but I needed something to vent to.