Changed. (Modern Day CLEXA AU)

Echo | Chapter 7

God I'm tired. It's been a long ass day and my experience with Lexa earlier didn't make me feel any better.

I am sitting on my bed listening to music. I stare into space just thinking about everything. My life, my future, and especially my past.

Then one of my favorite songs come on. It's ironic because it's exactly what I feel at the moment.

As I listen to the lyrics I think about everything he is saying.

(Song is Echo by James Walker)

Hello, hello
Anybody out there? Cause I don't hear a sound

When I hear this lyrics I think of when my dad first died. I was so alone...so lost. I felt like I was in a dark alley way and was about to get killed and no one would save me, because no one would be able to hear me.

I lay back on my bed and close my eyes.

Alone, alone
I don't really know where the world is but I miss it now

I think of when Finn and I first broke up. I was again alone. I had already lost my dad and he had the nerve to cheat on me with my best friend.

I'm out on the edge and I'm screaming my name
Like a fool at the top of my lungs
Sometimes when I close my eyes I pretend I'm alright
But it's never enough

I try to act like I'm ok, like not having any one to lean on is alright and I'm enough. But in reality I'm not ok.

Cause my echo, echo
Is the only voice coming back
Shadow, shadow
Is the only friend that I have

I'm so alone in life. I felt like I didn't have any friends. I do have friends but I don't know how many of them I can trust.

Listen, listen
I would take a whisper if that's all you had to give

I know I just met her. But this reminds me of Lexa. I would take anything she had to give me. Even if it was just a small something, it would be huge for me.

But it isn't, is it?
You could come and save me and try to chase the crazy right out of my head

Again, this is about Lexa. I just met her and she already drives me crazy. I loved Finn and it took a while for him to make me feel this way. So why did Lexa make me like this within in first few seconds of meeting her.

I'm out on the edge and I'm screaming my name
Like a fool at the top of my lungs
Sometimes when I close my eyes I pretend I'm alright
But it's never enough

Cause my echo, echo
Is the only voice coming back
Shadow, shadow
Is the only friend that I have

I don't wanna be an island
I just wanna feel alive and
Get to see your face again

I feel like this could be about any one in my life that I have lost. Especially my dad...when he died a part of me died too.

I don't wanna be an island
I just wanna feel alive and
Get to see your face again

But 'til then
Just my echo, my shadow
You're my only friend and...

I guess you can't always rely on people...because once you get too attached, they...leave.

I'm out on the edge and I'm screaming my name
Like a fool at the top of my lungs
Sometimes when I close my eyes I pretend I'm alright
But it's never enough

Cause my echo, echo
Oh my shadow, shadow

Hello, hello
Anybody out there?

Then I'm back to where I started....

By the time the songs over there are tears streaming down my face. Every time I listen to it, it makes me so emotional.

I look at my clock and it is 12:32

I really need to sleep. I turn off my light and pull my ear buds out and plug my phone into my charger on my night stand.

I get up one last time to use the bathroom. Once I finish I go and get a glass of water.

As I'm walking past Octavia's room I see it's open and dark. She must be with Lincoln.

I walk into the kitchen and turn the faucet on and get a glass of water as I start to drink I hear a scream.

It came from Lexa's room. I drop my glass and run to her room.

She is sitting up on her bed, breathing heavily.

"Lexa. Are you ok?" I say rushing over to her and sitting on her bed wrapping my arms around her.

"Sorry Clarke. I'm fine it was just a nightmare" she says looking into my face.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" I ask.

"I don't know" she says letting a small tear escape her eye. She puts her face into my chest and I feel her breathing start to slow down.

She eventually falls asleep in my arms. I lay her down in her bed and get up and walk back to my room.

I'll ask her about her dream tomorrow.

I climb into bed and close me eyes. I just hope Lexa won't have another nightmare.

Sorry for the shorter chapter. But that last episode THOOO. Clarke comforting Lexa killed me. Live for their relationship.
BE SURE TO LISTEN TO THE SONG AT THE TOP!!!

Also I binge watched Fuller House. Idk still like the original Full House more but it's prettier entertaining to see.