What Is Love ?

You Broke My Heart

Chapter 26
Rachels pov :
I ran out of the choir room quickly. I don't know what came over me but I could feel my heart breaking . My chest became heavy and it felt like my lungs were closing up and I couldn't breathe. I ran into the girls bathroom and sat down. I was hyperventilating and then suddenly Kurt , Santana, Brittney, Mercedes, and Tina came in.

"Berry what happened?" Santana asked me.

They looked at me on the floor I was in the corner crying and panicking I couldn't breath.

"Santana, Brittney go get the nurse. Mercedes, Tina , go get Ms.Pilsbury and Mr.Shue. " Kurt told them and they left.

He bent down next to me and said,

"Rachel look at me." He said.

"I....I....I...can't breath!" I said weakly .

"It's okay just close your eyes and go to your happy place." He told me.

I nodded and closed my eyes. I pictured myself in the auditorium with Finn, and we were dancing . I felt safe in his arms I didn't want him to ever let me go because I was afraid I would fall and I would never stop.

(3 hours later)
I woke up to see my ceiling fan and my bedroom wall. I looked over and my dad was sitting right next to me holding my hand.

"Daddy? What happened?" I asked him.

"You had a panick attack." He told me.

"Oh no." I said panicking.

"It's okay stay calm sweet heart , you have anxiety you have ever since sophomore year ." He told me.

"I know but I thought I be better by now." I said.

"Maybe you should go back to therapy. " He suggested.

"No, it's fine I'm okay really." I said.

"Okay well get some rest I gotta go back to work." He told me and kissed my forehead and left.

I watched as my dad backout of the driveway and left.I sighed and sat up. I sat there for a moment and then the doorbell rang. I got up , went downstairs and opened it to see Finn standing there.

"Finn." I said suprised.

"Rachel hi." He said.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him.

"I came to make sure you were alright. " He told me.

"Oh well I'm fine." I said lying.

"You don't have to lie to me." He said.

"I'm not." I said.

"Do you wanna take a walk?" He asked me.

"Sure. " I said.

I grabbed my jacket and we walked outside for a bit in silence.

"Rachel , I'm sorry if I upset you earlier with that song." He told me.

"No I'm not upset." I told him.

"Then what happened?" He asked me.

"I don't know I just couldn't breath , it was weird . I started to think aboutnus and what we did and everything just came down from there the guilt was too much." I told him.

"Do you regret what we did?" He asked me.

"Of course not , Finn you were my first that means something to me." I said.

"It means something to me too , which is why I want to be with you Rachel I like you and not just as a friend." He said.

My heart froze and I shook my head no ,

"I'm sorry Finn but I can't. " I told him.

"Why? Why won't you just take a chance on me?" He asked me.

"Because you broke my heart Finn!" I blurted out.

"What?" He asked me.

"You know you're not the only one who lost a sister Finn. I lost Quinn too , I lost my best friend someone who I cared about that day too! I lost her and I never got to say goodbye. Then to make things worst I lost you the person I could talk to anything about . You know I knew you were hurt and I understood that but for you to blame her death on me , that hurt but then to say you hated me , that killed me. " I told him.

"Why didn't you tell me this before?" He asked me.

"Because I didn't want to hurt you anymore. So I shoved it down just like I do everything else , but the truth is Finn, the truth is, you broke my heart when you said those things . You broke it and as much as I want to forgive you I can't. I just can't. " I said and went back home.