The Showstopper

Chapter 16

Trigger warning: Homophobia

Camila's POV

When I got back home from Lauren's house I thought a lot about what she told me. She explained to me her past experiences about all the rebellious things she's done. To be honest, I was really surprised to hear her reveal those things. When I first met her, she seemed put together. Not to say that I didn't think she was before, but she didn't seem like a girl who did all that stuff and was recovering. But I felt glad that she told me. She could've held that secret forever but she trusted me and I would never take advantage of that. I'm so happy she's happier now and recuperated from all those things, living a much better lifestyle. She told me that was the lowest point of her life and that she hopes to never go there again. Drinking herself into oblivion was the biggest mistake she's ever made.

    And the hooking up with "too many" girls. Lauren had said before that she wasn't a virgin but that was in the beginning of the school year so it wasn't appropriate for me to talk to her about it at the time until tonight. I looked up her ex-girlfriend Keana on Facebook and twitter to see what she looked like and holy hell that girl was insanely gorgeous! Surely she had to be a model. I could clearly understand why Lauren would date her, I mean she looked perfect. And that made me feel even worse and more insecure. Lauren went from her to me? There was no way I could compete with her beauty...and body. Although I was kind of happy Lauren never loved her, it made me jealous knowing she was Lauren's first, second, and however many times they did it.

    That went for all the other girls Lauren's been with. I just felt so unconfident. I mean what if I'm not good enough for her in those ways? I've never had sex or done anything very sexual besides making out and Lauren touching me. That's only second base and I haven't really touched her in return. I didn't have any experience other than that, hell I just had my first kiss two months ago. But aside from knowing that my girlfriend has had plenty of experience with other women, I still wanted her to be my first. We've only been together for three weeks, but I know that with a little more time, I would be ready to give myself to her. I also know she would never force me to do something I was uncomfortable with. She's gentle with me. A gentlewoman. She always asks permission before doing something...well now she does, but I thought it was so cute how she always stopped herself and basically lectured me how she didn't want me to think she was taking advantage of me. That's how I knew she was the one. I love her although I still haven't told her yet. I was thinking about maybe waiting till we've been together for at least two months. And then I'll tell her and be ready for it with her.

    At the end of it all, I now knew a lot more about Lauren. Things like that weren't easy for her to say and I felt that our trust in our relationship, grew. I liked how she said that I deserved to know even though she didn't exactly have to tell me. But it was respectful that she did.

    The next morning I woke up bright eyed and bushy tailed, ready for the last day of school before Thanksgiving break. I was all eager to go until I remembered that I had to confront Austin to tell him about Lauren and I and about dinner this Saturday so he knows not to say anything suspicious around my parents or something. I needed to tell him today rather than later, but I had a feeling for some reason it was not going to be easy.

    I walked into school with Lauren by my side as usual and I put on my most confident face.

    "Hey, Austin?" I tapped his shoulder once Lauren and I walked up to him at his locker.

    "Hey, beautiful," he grinned turning around. "Looks like I'm coming over to your house this weekend."

    "Yeah about that. There's some things you should know."

    "What? That you're totally into me? Cause I bet you are. I mean who isn't? And that's good for you cause I'm into you too," he winked. Wow he got even douchier last night.