Learning To Live

Chapter 14

~Kellin~

"Get out." I said, just loud enough for him to hear. His eyes went wide as if he didn't mean to say it. "Get out!" I yelled.

"Kellin, please just-"

"Get out!" I interrupted. How dare he say that? He doesn't love me! Why is he lying to me? No one loves me, that's the point! No one does, that's why I lived with him. He doesn't even know me so how could he love me? My anxiety was getting really bad again. I wanted to run over to him. I wanted comfort but not from him. The more I thought about it though, he was the only one who could make me feel better. I was crying still and shaking but most of all I was really confused. I want him to hold me but I also don't want to know that he even exists.

"Kellin, you can't stay here."

"Don't you think I know that?!"I screamed. "But I know what you can do when you're angry. I can't go with you so I'll figure something out. Please leave." I said to the floor.

"Please just come back to the house. I'll sleep downstairs or in the room with Mike, but please Kellin, just come back with me." I didn't make any attempt at responding and didn't plan to. "Remember when we were sitting in the woods?"

"Yes, now get out." I didn't want to think about that. He was going to make me more vulnerable so he could get me to do what he wants but I'm not falling for it again. No one is going to push me around anymore. I'm done with everyone's shit. Can't people just actually be sincere?

"Kellin, please just listen to me. Please?"

"Fine." I gave in. I figured if I let him say what he wanted then he would leave easier.

"When we were sitting there you told me that I would never hurt you. Remember what I said?"

"You said I was right." I answered annoyed.

"And? What else did I tell you babe?"

"Don't call me that! I am not your babe!" I sneered.

"Okay. Im sorry I didn't mean to. But do you remember?"

"Vic, please just-"

"I said your father was the only one I could ever even think about hurting. I will never hurt you. I don't know how I could get you to understand that but I mean it. I'd say what I did earlier but that's obviously not a good idea because that's what made all of this escalate so I'll just say this. I meant everything and if you want me to leave then you're going to have to go also because I'm not going to leave you. But if you want me to leave I will. I'll go stay with my dad if you want. Hell, I'll even get Mike to go with me so you can have the house to yourself but I can't leave you here." I was speechless. He would leave his own house just so I could stay there, and take his brother too. He was worried and was trying everything he could to get me away from my father. I'm so stupid. He actually does care. At least more than these fuckers.

He was getting antsy and was looking over at my father a lot. "Kellin please, let's just go. He's going to wake up and he'll be pissed." He begged me. He looked scared and when my father moved slightly his fists clenched but he looked at me and forced them to relax. I stood up and walked to the door then smiled at him.

"Okay." I backed up and he reached to stop me but stopped before he touched me. I turned to run up the stairs and headed towards my room. I rummaged through my drawers, found my iPod, and stuffed it in my pocket before going back downstairs. When I got to the door, he visibly relaxed and we walked outside. Mike got in the driver seat and I got in the back, pulling Vic with me.

"You don't want me to sit in the front?" He asked shocked. I curled up to him and calmed down, not bothering to answer his question. "Okay." He hugged me closer, careful not to touch my ribs.

I was asleep before we got home and I woke up slightly when Vic picked me up. He stepped out of the car and I struggled, in my sleepy state, to stand up.

"I can walk." I tried to sound as awake as possible. He just laughed lightly.

"I know, but that would require me to let you go and I would rather hold you." I quit moving and laid my head on his chest, letting him carry me. Mike opened the door for Vic and let him go first. I saw him when we passed and he was smiling at Vic. He seems nice. I'm going to have to talk to him, he's probably cool.

Vic layed me on the bed in his room and turned to leave. I grabbed his arm and sat up, gritting my teeth from the pain the simple action caused. The adrenaline was gone and I could feel everything now.

"Where are you going?" I whined sleepily.

"To the store to get an ace bandage. I'll be back in a minute."

"Why?"

"Because I think it's the best thing to use to help your ribs."

"Do you honestly think leaving me is a good idea at the moment?"

"I thought you would want me to. You seemed really mad at me." I recalled what happened and my anxiety spiked. He noticed the change in my breathing and put his hand on mine, running his thumb over my knuckles to calm me down.

"Please don't leave me." I said, my voice sounding small. I didn't want to be alone and I wanted him to comfort me. He sat beside me and put his hand on my shoulder that was opposite of him. I laid my head down on his legs and he ran his fingers through my hair. I looked up at him as he rested his other arm across my stomach.

"I love you." He said quietly. I turned on my side and put my face on his clothed tummy. I shook my head but then smiled and fell back asleep.