Learning To Live

Chapter 17

~Kellin~

I'm not quite sure what he meant. I was kinda worried but I'm trying not to think about it. We are now sitting in our fourth and final class. Vic is sitting in the desk beside me drawing and he seemed so at peace with everything that has happened. I'm beginning to believe that he meant everything he said. Maybe he does actually love me somehow, I don't know. Are we even... together? I'm being so dumb, it doesn't even matter. Ugh, everything is too confusing! I thought staying with him would be less chaotic but I was, very clearly, wrong. Before him I didnt know that I even liked guys, now there's the idea that one might love me.

"You okay?" He whispered to me. I nodded and looked away. I can't do this. I think I'm going to go stay with Gabe for a bit to clear my head. But what if he doesn't let me or Gabe doesn't want me to. I'll be stuck. I started to panic again and I felt nauseous.

I rose my hand to ask the teacher to leave but after a few seconds of him not noticing me I got up and ran out of the room. As I reached the bathroom door, I gagged and then curled up to stop from getting sick. I couldn't move because I didn't want to puke in the hallway.

"You're okay." Vic picked me up and carried me to a stall. He ran his hand over my back and shoulders. I was basically just dry heaving now and it hurt really, really badly. I started whimpering at the pain in my throat and stomach. "Shh. Calm down." I was gasping for air but soon started to try to slow my breathing. He comforted me until I quit and then hugged me to him. "Do you want to just go home?"

"No. I'm not sick." I shook my head and then quickly stopped so the room would stop spinning. Vic put his hand on one of my cheeks to keep me from shaking my head again.

"Kellin you can barely move."

"I'll be fine. I've missed too much class anyways." I so badly wanted to go home and relax more but I didn't want to have to think about anything anymore than I already was. He sighed but nodded. I started to stand up but he put his hand on my shoulder to stop me.

"Please sit here for a little bit." I nodded and crawled into his lap. My body relaxed and I wasn't really thinking about anything. I just knew that my stomach and throat hurt, I felt like death and I was very, very cold. Vic's body heat warmed me slightly but my skin was cold still. I slipped my hand under his shirt and onto his stomach. "Are you cold?"

"Yes." I shivered and pushed myself closer to him. He took off his sweatshirt and draped it over my back. He rubbed the fabric over my skin and I felt slightly warmer.

"I get that the puking is from anxiety but I think you're getting sick." I shook my head and shivered again. "Okay. Whatever you say. Ready to go back to class?"

"Im... cold." I stuttered.

"One minute." He pulled away from me and took the jacket and sweatshirt off. The air hit my arms causing me shake. He curled around me slightly trying to keep me warmer as he turned the articles of clothing the right way. Taking the sweatshirt, he put arms through and then pulled it over my head. He added the jacket and I warmed slightly then smiled up at him.

"You're lips are purple." He whispered quietly.

"It's because I'm cold and anxious."

"Wait, so your lips turn purple when you're cold?"

"Yeah."

"And anxious?"

"Appearantly." He smirked and then pecked my lips. "Ew. Why?"

"Why not?"

"Uhhh, because I've been puking all day." I said in disgust as if it were obvious because, in a way, it was.