I've Never Cried

Chapter Thirteen - "Never Even Mine to Begin With"

"I've Never Cried"

Chapter Thirteen

'Never even mine to begin with'

Scene . . .

A Week later

Joe's POV

I had tried calling Demi the day after we'd gone to the beach, but she never picked up. After some time of calling her, I'd given it up, figuring that she was ignoring me. She always had her phone in her hands whenever I was with her, so I knew she'd gotten my messages. It pissed me off; knowing that she was denying my phone calls. But it also made me wonder why.

It was 11:30am, I dressed, and I trudged into Nick's room, catching him cross-legged on the floor, guitar in his lap.

"Good morning," he said as he scribbled down words into his notebook. I sat in his bed with my elbows on my knees, my head in my palms.

"Not really," I grumbled. The pang of knots in my stomach kept me up all night; and in addition to the person causing the knots not wanting to be near me, it felt even worse. I rubbed my temples with my thumbs, fighting off an oncoming headache I knew I was bound to feel. I couldn't understand why my emotional pain became physical, but whatever it was, I assumed it was Demi's fault.

"Is Demi still ignoring you?" I rolled my eyes, which only caused my headache to feel stronger.

I groaned.

"Do you have any idea why?" I began, "I mean, did I say something or do something-" A sigh emptied me. Nick spoke up at me, his eyes not leaving the notebook his pen danced on.

"Dude, this is one girl. Why are you letting this get to you?" Wrapping my arms around my stomach, I looked up at him; an angry, painful expression written all over my face.

"Because I CARE about her. I worry about her- I fear for her. Just like the way I do for you. For Frankie. For everyone I really care about." I stated, my voice crackling with pain. "But, this . . . this feeling I'm getting doesn't happen when you or Frankie aren't here. Only, now. . ." I trailed off, consumed in my own twisted thoughts. Shockingly, Nick placed his guitar onto its stand, and sat down beside me. I felt sympathy bead off him when I'd mentioned his name. I just hoped he understood.

He didn't.

"Do you know how many other girls are out there waiting for a guy like you?" His words made me want to pull my hair out. I felt like I was going to puke up blood. What was happening to me?

"Do you know," I said, the knots slightly decreasing. "How long I've waited for a girl like her? I've dated my share of girls, Nick. I've been brokenhearted numerous amounts of times. But I have never, physically felt pain, for a girl-" I swallowed, the abdominal pain moving up into my throat. "That was never even mine to begin with."

-----

Nick lugged me into the bathroom, and instantly I got sick. I struggled to my knees, lifted my head, and emptied my stomach into the toilet. I was handed a cloth to wipe my mouth, but right when I did, I retched into the toilet a second time. "What's wrong with me?" I managed to cough out, only to have more substance fill my mouth.

"Good God, Joe," Nick's voice was worried. I hadn't eaten much of anything in the last few days, so I had no idea what was coming out of my body. 

Finally, after fifteen long minutes, my puking ceased. My throat felt sore and burned like hell. Nick was still with me, a phone on his ear as he asked our mother what to do. Frankie darted out from nowhere, probably hearing all the noise Nick and I made.

"Is everything o- whoa, Joe, what happened?"

"He's sick," Nick stated, but I couldn't tell if he was speaking to Mom or Frankie.

Painfully, I stood myself up, and pushed past my brothers. Popping a mint and a piece of gum on my way out, I snagged my keys from the bowl on the kitchen table, and slugged out the door.

I didn't exactly know where I was going, but when my car stopped, I was in the museum's parking lot. Sitting there, I wondered why I'd driven here, even though I had no intention of going inside. I hated this place so much, but for some reason, it felt necessary to come. After some time of thinking this over, I exited my car and walked into the tall, old green building, unwillingly. My feet took me to the music hall, and to my surprise, I ended up sitting at the base of the old grand piano. I have no idea how long I sat there, motionless. The museum closed, though, so I was forced to leave, my feet feeling ten times heavier than when I'd entered. My car seemed further than where I'd parked, and my vision was becoming blurry. I felt like my body was being thrown everywhere, despite the fact that I was standing completely still in a parking lot.

My headache became so strong, I could hear it dwelling inside of me. It was dark outside, I knew, but all I saw were smudges of things here and there. All of this pain couldn't be because of a girl. I had to be actually, seriously, sick. Quickly, I pulled my phone from my pants pocket, and struggled to see Nick's number. But as soon as I'd hit the call button, my body collided with the pavement.

JJDL

*****Comment your thoughts on this chapter! What do you think is wrong with Joe?*****