I've Never Cried

Chapter Fifteen - "This Was Never About You and Me."

"I've Never Cried"

Chapter Fifteen

'This Was Never About You and Me."

Scene. . .

Continuing 

Joe's POV

I slapped my palm against the wall beside her head, and trudged away from her, toward my room. I'd wasted away what was left of my vocals, and knew it would be impossible for me to be able to speak for the next few days.

"Joe!" I heard her scream repeatedly, but I continued walking. Her footsteps were soft as she followed behind me. "Joe, just hear me out!" Her voice was shaking heavily, but I was too sick, and exhausted to care at the moment. I was pretty sure that if I tried to speak again, my condition would only get worse.

When I reached my room, I turned to shut the door, but Demi's hand stopped it. She looked at me with pleading eyes. "Just let me talk, okay? Please." I couldn't respond because of my aching, fiery throat. So I stood in the doorway, staring at the girl who'd messed with my emotions, wishing I had just enough to slam the door in her face.

'Just go' I mouthed, but she ignored me. She looked as miserable as I felt.

"I . . . I just had to tell you something," she said, halting. "This was never about you and me." The effort of not speaking hurt; I was grinding my back teeth together. "I just couldn't let myself . . . make the mistake of," she swallowed hard enough for it to be visible, and ran a hand through her highlighted hair. "Falling... for you. What I'm trying to say is," Her deep brown eyes poured into mine. They glistened and glittered like they usually did, giving me a false assumption of tears. "I can see myself falling for you, a-and it scares me to death because I know it could quite possibly be a one way street."

I wished I could speak; there were a million things I could have said.

"I just . . . Selena was giving me so much grief about falling too fast again. I mean, she's seen me hurting and-" She cut herself off, repeatedly whipping her head left to right. "God, I'm so stupid," she whispered to herself, barely audible. My body refused to allow me to say anything just yet. I tried speaking, but nothing but air and painful needles came out. She watched my face intently, waiting for some kind of response.

"I told you what I expected," she mumbled, still looking into my eyes. "But I was lying to myself, and..." Tucking her hair behind her ear, she looked down at the floorboards and crossed her arms. She was slightly hunched, her eyes focusing only on the waxy, hard wood beneath her feet. "I'm so sorry, Joe."

Before I knew it, I had a tear on my face. I hadn't noticed it until it had tickled my nose, but I neglected to wipe it away. I wasn't a very emotional guy, but when I was, it was never in front of someone. Not until now. I wasn't sure why.

When she didn't hear me reply, she looked up at me, and her big brown eyes widened the slightest bit. "Joe?" She tried, but I'd blanked.

Slowly, I stepped nearer to her, hesitant. I placed the smallest kiss on her forehead, inhaling her gorgeous scent. I then stepped backward again, returning to my original position. Demi tilted her head to one side, a frown on her face. Frowning too, I glanced at her once more, released a sigh, and shut the door.

-----

Nick arrived at my bedroom door some hours later, rousing me from my much-needed sleep. He let himself in, and placed a tray of microwave spaghetti on my bedside table. A large glass of water was placed aside the tray, my throat burned with thirst.

"Mom phoned for you," Nick began in a monotone voice, sitting at the foot of my bed. "She said you should eat something." Snatching the tray from the small stand, I began to force down the metallic tasting microwaved food. Instantly, I felt the slightest bit better. I had a bit more energy, and I was awake.

Tension radiated from Nick's body and, slightly confused, I sat up to face him. When he looked at me, his face seemed furious. I wished I could ask him what was wrong, and if his anger was directed at me. "I heard you yelling," he started again, a swallow of anger pushing through him. "And I heard Demi yelling. And I saw her face when she left." 

Suddenly I wasn't interested in this conversation. Instead, I focused on the condensation on the outside of the ice cold glass on my bedside table. I watched drops of water trickle down the outside of the cup, and form a ring around its bottom. I pictured myself as the cup, and that all of my problems surrounded me, just like the ring.

'What happened was none of your business,' I wished I could say, but Nick had the upper hand in this conversation.

"You wanna know how she looked?" Nick's eyes were icy with rage. His voice was stone. He looked directly at me with an anger I'd never seen in him before. His words pierced my chest. "Dead." I flinched. Nick continued, "She refused to talk to any of us, especially Selena. She wouldn't even look at her."

My muscles tensed, and I glared at him. 'What do you care?' I wanted to ask.

"Look, Joe," he forced his finger out in between my eyes. "Whatever you did to make 'Happy-Beautiful-Constantly Smiling' Demi, crack and fall into depression," He took a long, deep breath, as if inhaling all of his anger. "FIX IT."

With that he stormed out, slamming the door behind him.

JJDL

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