I've Never Cried

Chapter Sixty-Five - "Horrible Person."

"I've Never Cried"

Chapter Sixty-five

'Horrible Person.' 

Scene...

The following morning

Joe's POV

Demi sat beside me in the car as I drove, the both of us filled with anxiety. We were so anxious, in fact, that neither of us had spoken a word the entire drive. It was only until we'd reached the parking lot of the hospital that we knew we had to say something; anything, to keep our heads on straight. Earlier that morning, I received a call from my brother, who seemed frantic. That phone call messed with all of our heads, as through it we learned that there was a large possibility that Selena would soon wake. 

Of course, this news was unexpected - especially since Demi and I had only discussed how to deal with it just the night before. But things were looking up, and once again, Selena was the center of all of our worlds. 

I turned and looked at her, trying to control the awkward tension that sat in the air. My eyes scanned her body language, and it was easy to see that she was feeling disturbed as well.

"Babe," I muttered, "are you alright?"

Demi fiddled with her thumbs, biting her lip.

"I don't know what I am," she mumbled. "But I know I'm not alright."

"I get it," I said, agreeing. I leaned back in my seat, not wanting to get out of the car. "Honestly, how are you supposed to feel when someone that you know but you don't particularly like wakes up from a coma?"

Demi stifled a giggle then, and when I heard this, I turned to her, surprised that she'd found humor in what I said.

"What?" I asked, cracking a smile. She sighed wishfully.

"I'm just really glad that someone finally said it out loud," she replied. "I've been trying to figure out how to say that for a while."

"It's complicated," I responded. "I mean, especially for you. You guys were friends way longer than I knew you. I'm sure it's gotta be frustrating to feel like you have to care when you don't really want to."

"It sounds so heartless to say out loud," Demi began, looking at me. "But I don't want to know Selena anymore. And this is the absolute worst time to say something like that. So I feel like a horrible person."

"You're not a horrible person," I corrected. "Let's look at the facts. Selena plotted against you, then tried to steal me from you. Then, when that failed, she tried it again, only that time, she used me as a pawn. Then, when that failed, she showed up at my house just to try and sabotage our relationship again with things that happened years ago." I counted on my fingers as I pointed out each new fact, Demi's eyes following each one I brought forth. "Then finally, when that failed, she tried to kill herself. I don't think any of those things make you a horrible person."

She sighed.

"So then, what does it make me?" I closed my fist, putting down all of the fingers I was counting upon.

"It makes you a person that's a lot stronger than she thinks she is." I smiled at her. "You truthfully don't have to be here for Selena. But you are. Even though she doesn't deserve you anymore, you're here for her. That's strength."

"I still love her," she confessed, which I didn't expect at all. "And I want her to live a happy life, and I want her to get past all of this and find her own strength. But . . . ,"

"What?" I asked. She sighed.

"I don't want to be a part of her life anymore. So . . . why am I here?"

I unbuckled my seatbelt, unsure of how to answer that.

"I don't know, Dem." I kissed her forehead quickly. "So let's go in and find out."

--

Nick met us in the waiting room, his sadness seemingly diminishing.

"Hey guys," he said, once he walked up to us.

"Hey," Demi replied, shyly. "How ya doing this morning?"

"I'm anxious," he admitted. "But I honestly just want her to be okay."

"Is she awake?" I asked, standing from my seat. 

"Not yet, but, she could be any minute now."

"Dem," I said, turning to her. "Do you wanna go in?"

She hesitated a while, her frown deepening in discomfort. I knew right away that she wanted more time, but Nick was still waiting for a response. Immediately, I wished I hadn't asked.

"I'll wait," she said, her eyes darting back and forth between Nick and I. "You guys go ahead."

At first Nick seemed confused at this, but I gave him a look to leave her alone, and he did just that. I smiled at Demi, stroking her chin quickly with my thumb and forefinger to say goodbye. Then, I followed Nick into Selena's room, and once again, she was lying there motionless. Only this time, she wasn't bound by wires and tubes. Instead, she was surrounded by two nurses, a doctor, Nick and I. As Nick made his way over to the side of her bed, I decided to get more insight on the situation, and got some advice from one of the nurses.

"Excuse me," I asked a blonde haired woman holding a clipboard. 

"Yes?" She turned to me, her blue eyes piercing me as they quickly became flirtatious. 

"I just wanted to know . . . how are you guys so sure that she'll be waking up soon? I thought this was all just a waiting game."

"Typically it is," she nodded, smiling at me for what I felt was a bit too long. "But comas like these are normally short-lived. Also, her vitals are looking normal, and her brain activity has increased. At this point, based on that, her brain looks similar to that of someone that's just asleep."

"So after this, she'll be back to normal?" I asked, my voice a whisper to keep Nick from overhearing. The nurse clutched her clipboard to her chest.

"Well, not exactly. This looks like a suicide attempt, so she'll be in psych under observation for a few days after she wakes. And she'll likely have to take medications for most of her life to keep her kidneys from failing. Those painkillers do a lot of damage."

"Joe!" I heard my brother say, and immediately I went over to him.

"What? What's going on?" I asked, standing beside him against the railing of the bed.

Then finally, I looked down.

"Selena," I whispered, once seeing her brown eyes flutter open. "Welcome back."

JJDL

*****LOL that gif is kinda funny. :p but I'm childish. Anyway, this update is long overdue, but I've been writing THE MECHANIC so much lately and I'm absolutely in love with it. Please guys go read it like I promise it's a million times better than this story. I don't know if that means anything to you guys tho. :P Anyway, I'll shut up. Comment your thoughts on Demi's feelings and all that.*****