I've Never Cried

Chapter Sixteen - "Please."

"I've Never Cried"

Chapter Sixteen

'Please.'

Scene...

Two Weeks Later

Joe's POV

My throat was on it's way back to recovery; I could talk normally now, but couldn't raise my voice. Tea was constantly my beverage for each meal, and I refrained from speaking a lot. If I were asked a question, I'd nod or shake my head. I didn't speak unless it was completely necessary, so, not much. Nick barely even spoke to me; mostly I was alone or with Frankie.

No matter what I did, though, my mind was always somewhere else. It threw images back and forth, confusing and hurting me at the same time. Demi's frowning face flashed in and out of my head. Nick's angry expression left a scar inside me. My mother's forehead creasing with intense worry. I felt like I'd ruined everything; became a burden, just another problem. I wished I could fix all the things that collapsed around me, but I couldn't decipher how it'd gotten to be broken in the first place.

All I had wanted was Demi. Since the first day I met her, she was the only soul I desired. I remembered how relaxing it felt when we shared a long, caring embrace. I remembered what her hair smelled like. I remembered us sitting in the backseat of my jeep, comparing the sizes of our hands. I remembered how large mine was compared to hers; like the pawprints of a puppy and a bear. I remembered the heart-melting, heat filled kiss that we'd shared.

The only kiss we shared.

I sighed. Everything was too much for me. My body shivered no matter how hot I was. My stomach did more flips than a gymnast. I couldn't stand to be immobile any longer. I had to get up, and go see her.

------

On the porch of Selena's home, I rang the doorbell and waited impatiently. It seemed like decades before the tall, skinny brunette opened the door.

"Selena," I muttered, risking my voice. "Could I-" The door slammed in my face. I was in shock. That should've been expected.I began to knock on the door persistently, determined to finish what I'd started. "She doesn't need to talk to you, Joe." Selena's voice came muffled through the door. "You're wasting your time." I brought my palms up to my eyes, and rubbed away the overlay of tears I felt beginning to form.

"Selena," I stated as loudly as I could- which was not much of anything. "I'm sorry, okay? I- I just want to fix things." My hands over my eyes did nothing as I felt hot tears overflow onto my wrists. I couldn't pinpoint what I was feeling, but I knew being there would help me know. I heard the door crack open the slightest bit, and immediately looked up, trying to reorder myself. Half of Selena's face was visible in the small opening.

"Please," I whispered, staring at her with pleading eyes. After a long moment, Selena opened the door completely, gesturing for me to come inside. Happily, I briefly threw my arms around her, whispering a quiet, "Thank You," before releasing her. I wiped my heavy eyes quickly, and started up the stairs towards Demi's room. Almost at the very moment when I'd reached the center of the staircase, I stopped completely. She stood directly in front of me, walking the opposite direction as I came. When her eyes met mine, she froze too, her expression unreadable.

"D-Dem-," I whispered, and she blinked into reality. Suddenly, and angry/sad expression took over her gorgeous features. Her eyebrows pushed downward in anger, her lips pouted with pain. Unanticipated, she whipped around and charged back up the stairs. "Demi, wait!" I whisper-shouted, chasing quickly after her. She slammed the door of her bedroom, but I'd followed her inside anyway, shutting the door behind us.

"Get out." She said sternly, pointing toward the door. "Now."

"Absolutely not," I stated, my voice becoming smaller. I didn't push myself to speak again, but I used all of what was necessary.

"Look, Joe," She said, shooting a hate-stricken glare at me. Her voice was strong, but shaking lightly. I could see the pain in her face as she spoke, her eyes filled with anger. "You made it pretty clear what you wanted," A large, shaky sigh exited her lungs. "And obviously, it wasn't . . . me. So, the last thing I need right now, is this."

She was so wrong. Extremely wrong. I wanted to prove to her how wrong she was.

"Dem," I stated in the softest tone my voice could uphold. I walked nearer to her, taking her tiny hand into my own. "I know you're mad. I was mad too. I was way out of line and shouldn't have screamed at you like that." My voice was fading slowly, but I continued my lengthy speech. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to hear anything you had to say. But I'm all ears now; yell at me as much as you want." I was serious. I wanted her to be angry at me and show me how much I'd ruined her. I felt that I deserved everything she would say to me.

We just stared at each other for a long time. She was bottling up her emotions; her body began to shake with anger. I watched her angry, pain-filled expression subtly turn a heavy red. I'd never been able to see the undertones of Demi's skin, so this shook me. In a blur, Demi snatched her hand away from mine, and began her rant.

"I poured my emotions out to you, and told you that everything I'd been telling you was not true. I hate how, somewhere in the midst of me discovering that I'm falling in love with you, I lose myself. I told myself not to because I knew, from the second that I'd first seen you, that something was there. That's why I kept my distance for so long."

"I HATE that you don't see that, Joe! I could feel myself getting closer, and closer to you everyday, but I had to stop! Because I knew that you would hurt me like this. But now I'm falling harder, and harder, and I CAN'T stop!" She gripped onto my shirt, and looked up at me with angry eyes. Her voice began to get higher. "Do you not understand that I TOLD you that I wanted us to be together? I told you, and I apologized, and you abandoned me! Do you know how that makes me feel?" Her fists began to pound against my chest. I could feel what she was about to say next, and it scarred me. Her hand forced my face toward her.  "Like you don't CARE." She finished, quoting what I'd said to her previously. I didn't want to look at her, and struggled to force my eyes away from hers. I didn't ever want to fight with Demi.

But both of us were at fault.

I felt my body tense when she'd completely let go of me. I couldn't take it. I stared at the floor.

"I know how what I did feels now." Her voice was a quiet whisper, not even closely comparing to mine. "I didn't expect it, Joe. I didn't mean for this to happen. And I'm so sorry I made you feel the way I do right now." I felt myself shaking intensely, my breathing quickened.

Unexpectedly, a warm, pleasurable embrace took over my body. I loved the feeling, and realized that Demi had consumed me in a hug. Her face buried in my shirt. I held her even closer, stroking the soft texture of her hair. I kissed the top of her head softly. She looked up at me, and lifted her palms up to my face. I then pulled her hand from my cheek, pressing her knuckles softly against my lips. She smiled a little and slightly giggled. My hand pulled her torso against mine, my other resting against the side of her neck. 

"I am the most sorry person in the world right now." I said as we smiled at each other.

"Me too," Demi murmured quietly, staring into my eyes.   

JJDL

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