I've Never Cried

Chapter Forty-nine - "Promise Me."

"I've Never Cried"

Chapter Forty-nine

'Promise Me.' 

Scene...

Continuing

Joe's POV

Demi rolled her eyes in frustration.

"Well what do you suggest I do, Joe? I'm just trying to be practical, here."

"Demi, I understand that. But you just . . . how can you be so okay with leaving?"

 Something in the air had changed, and while I had no energy left to fight with Demi any longer, I definitely maintained the strength to fight for her. She stopped stirring her drink and looked up at me, her eyes full of indecision.

"Is there something you're not telling me, Dem?" When I asked her this, she began to shift in her seat uncomfortably, which made me suspicious. Her lips parted and closed numerous times, as if she kept changing her mind about what she would say. Then finally, she spoke.

"I . .  um," she began, her breath quickening. I began to worry, but I stayed silent, waiting. "I'm just so afraid."

"Afraid of what?" I asked, watching her face carefully. 

"Joe, when I found out about you and Selena, it broke me apart in ways I didn't know I could be broken. I didn't know that I could even love someone enough that they literally drive me insane." 

As she spoke, I thought back to how Demi's emotions were out of control, likely because she'd never truly felt them to the extent that I had made her feel them. I thought about those plates, and how she'd destroyed them in a rage, simply to prove a point. She had to do things she'd never imagined, just to make things clear to me. 

For me.

"You make me so vulnerable," she muttered, affirming my thoughts. "And I absolutely love you so much, but. . . I'm terrified that you'll hurt me again because . . . I don't know what I'll do Joe. A-and I don't like not knowing."

All of this hit me at once, so I had to take every word she said in stride. I kept staring at her, unsure of how to feel about what she was saying to me. It all made sense, and that was what was absolutely frustrating. I had no way around what she said because it was all logically true. If Demi was going to decide to stay, she'd need a bigger reason than just my love. And while everything in me wanted that to be enough, I just knew that it wasn't.

"You are incredibly important to me, Joe," she said, looking away from me as she finished. "I just don't trust you to take care of me."

"So," I took a breath, finally deciding to respond. "You want to go back to Sacramento?" The way I said it sounded like a statement, likely because I was more angry than I wanted her to believe. Still, my tone seeped out, and Demi caught on quickly.