holy grail

TWENTY-ONE

❝ET PULCHRAE❞

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❝THE BEAUTIFUL ONES❞

JASON MCCANN

I stood in front of the foggy bathroom mirror and dried myself off. Was it normal to take a shower at four in the morning? Maybe for some people, but definitely not for me.

My thoughts of Mary mixed in with the mild insomnia I had to fight off each night weren't allowing me to get a wink of sleep. I had already been dreaming of her all week and she had been making an extra effort to touch me sexually. I was flustered beyond belief.

Sure we were dating now, but how long could she could keep it a secret? Or even I? My habitual lying was going to catch up to me one day—the question was when and how much damage control would be needed to salvage the relationship.

I dried off my hair and hung the towel on the back of the bathroom door. A whopping five minutes later I was dressed in a pair of briefs and a loose-fitting tee shirt. I plopped back into my oversized bed and played with the fabric on the pillowcase next to me as a way to distract myself.

I already knew I was in too deep with Mary, but I couldn't fix it now. The damage was done and I couldn't take back my words or my actions no matter how hard I prayed each night.

I wonder if it was worth it in the end . . .

***

I awoke from my slumber when my scheduled alarm went off. Getting out of the bed, I stretched my arms out in front of me before proceeding to do anything else.

The sun peeked over the mountains and shone through the silky white curtains. The view was beautiful, I could stare at it all day.

Sadly, there was no time for me to enjoy the view. I was forced into getting dressed and ready for the day. My record would suffer if I wasn't timely.

After I finished my daily routines and got dressed I immediately headed out. I took the elevator down to the second floor and then made my way to my office that I apparently forgot to lock.

The first few hours weren't too bad. I focused mostly on filling out paperwork and designing a template for Ms. Lopes. The next few were uneventful.

A couple of students came in to talk to me about their issues and I tried to help them the best way I could. But eventually I figured out it was a cheap excuse to get out of class and gawk at me like I was a caged animal, so I sent them away.

Next, I made myself a cup of coffee and sipped on it while answering a few emails. One was about the mass that had been cancelled due to some technical issues and the rest were mostly spam. Although I did receive a couple free trial memberships for a few porn websites—I definitely wouldn't be opening them at work though.

Around noon I headed to lunch with the rest of the staff. I could tell Ms. Torres and Mrs. Edmunds were in an ongoing battle of who would get and keep my attention. I was unbothered though. The only person's attention I wanted was Mary's and I sure wasn't getting it.

I wasn't in the mood to be harassed and constantly flirted with, so I politely excused myself from the conversation and threw away the remains of my lunch. Today was turning out to be a major disappointment.

I entered the restroom and splashed some cold water on my face. It felt good, it was just what I needed. I took my tie off afterwards and stuffed it in my pocket right as I was about to open the door, but something stopped me. It was the buzzing of my phone in my pocket.

I flipped it open, pressed 'talk,' and held it up to my ear. No one answered though, must've been a prank call.

I was already on edge due to my interactions with Mary, I didn't need anything else to push me over the edge. I ran a hand through my gelled hair and semi-shrugged it off. When I came out of the restroom I sauntered down the long, gray hallway that eventually lead me back to my office. I opened the door and closed it while my phone buzzed again in my pocket.

"Hello?" I snapped.

"Making any progress?" The man said in a rather hushed voice.

"I can't talk about that here Aaron." I murmured back into the phone as my eyes scanned the hallway to make sure no one was around.

"There's been a development, but it doesn't go into effect until next year-"

"How did that desert flower work for you?" I changed the topic.

"Abruzzi is dead." and with that the line went cold.

I placed my phone back into my pocket and headed out of my office. I was in dire need of a smoke—it was the only thing that could fully calm my nerves—no matter how unhealthy it was for me.

I studied the perimeters carefully while I made my way through the semi-empty halls, avoiding all the staring school girls and anyone who happened to laugh or look my way. I just kept walking.

I turned the corners every now and then, but I mostly just walked in a line.

After some time I was forced to come to a complete stop due to the double doors that blocked my path. They were large, heavy doors—the ones that separated the inside of the school from the gardens—which is where I happened to be.

I contemplated opening the door for a couple of minutes. I wasn't allowed to smoke and I wasn't supposed to on "school grounds,"  because of the health violation. I really didn't give a shit though.

Pushing the door open, I observed the fresh powder snow that lay upon the stone benches and dying flowers. My senses were extra sharp since it was cold outside—the air was crisp and clean.

My eyes stumbled around curiously and I didn't stop them, although when they landed on a pair students making out. I wished they hadn't.

"Mary?"