holy grail

EPILOGUE

❝EPILOGUE❞

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❝TEMPUS❞

I cannot seem to talk about you directly to you, so I will talk about Science.

Let's start with this:
C8H11NO2+C10H12N2O+C43H66N12O12S2 I am not a chemist, but I do know that this is one of the most important chemical equations in the history of the world (literally.)

This formula is made up of 3 key elements: dopamine, serotonin and oxcytocin.

Now, according to Google love is defined as — "a strong or constant affection for someone." Love is defined as a feeling and according to Science — also a chemical formula. When each of these compounds bond and react with one another they create something special, just like when I look at you.

When I look at you, I have a chemical reaction. My heart pumps faster and faster by the second and the C9H13NO3 (adrenaline) rushes through my veins in a way that is so dynamic, it can't be controlled.

I'm sure you know about all of this or maybe you don't? Maybe you think it's a silly phase, or an equivocal crush, but Mary Katherine Winters I am in love with you. I am so deeply in love with you, I am infatuated with every single thing you do. From the way your beautiful smile glistens each time you are excited or happy to the way you snuggle up close to me at night and share your day with me. I enjoy it all so much, just seeing you happy and smiling is enough to keep me going for ages upon ages and I've wanted you to know that for a really long time.

I've treasured our weird relationship since and I appreciate everything you do for me, you're doing me a great service by breathing and reading this right now and I know I sound foolish and all and I think I'm rambling, but I truly do mean it. I may not be the apple of your eye, but you are the apple of mine, my whole world and my whole entire galaxy. . .

Yet, you think you are average, you think your thoughts don't make any sense, you think no one ever really listens to you, but you are so wrong Fran. You see everything for how it is and you have so many beautiful thoughts inside of your mind, but you allow yourself to fade into the background and be average — and no one seems to listen.

But I listen, I always listen because in my eyes, you are so much more than a fuckbuddy or even a silly crush. You are not small, you are beautiful inside and out and god I wish you could see it, you are so much more than you think you are and I hope that you realize that someday. I really do. You are an angel, my saving grace.

And I think that as people come and go in and out of our lives they leave a trace of themselves, like fingerprints in the lives they've touched and I also think that's really important because I believe those finger prints never really go away and I'm really okay with the fact that even if I never get another moment to hold you or tell you how much I love you, I will always have those fingerprints of yours to hold onto and cherish.

And a part of me hopes you will do just the same with my own, even after I'm long gone.

I C8H11NO2+C10H12N2O+C43H66N12O12S2 you, very much.

Yours sincerely,
Jason McCann.

-deathlyhallows © 2017