Zayn's POV
"You're being really quiet." One hand rests on the steering wheel as I comment on Charlie's behavior; she's been keeping to herself ever since we left Lucky Strike. We're now on our way to Jawaad's hotel to pick up the kids. I look over to her when there isn't a response. "Babe?"
"I'm just thinking..." she says quietly, staring out the window.
"You can share if you'd like," I respond after a few minutes of silence. Quietness is just so strange for her, so whatever it is, I know it's weighing heavily on her mind. "What you're thinking about, I mean."
I don't think she's gonna take me up on the offer, but then, "You're a hypocrite," comes out quietly as she's still staring out the damn window.
Okay...I furrow my brows. "Ah...what?"
She turns to me then. "I said, you're a hypocrite." She looks just slightly pissed off-but more disappointed- now that I'm able to get a good look at her. But more than that, she sounds so damn calm and that scares me more than anything. I don't give much of a response because I'm waiting for her to elaborate. "You expect me to be okay with you talking to May, Siobhan and Aspen. And when Genevieve was around, I used to have to be okay with her overstepping boundaries all the time. When these girls from your past appear, I usually brush it under the rug because I know you're committed to me. And not to mention, you make it so I don't have a choice but to be okay with it. But like," she pinches the bridge of her nose, "Like, the moment Luke comes back into the picture, or I coincidentally run into Alex, whom I never slept with, it's a huge problem for you and you make a big show out of it. But you don't stop to consider that they too, are part of my past. And I know that it's not because you don't trust me; I get it- it's them and they're usually trying to make a move or whatever they're up to, but have I ever given you any indication that I want to be with either of them?"
"I...no," I mumble sheepishly. I can't even argue it because she's absolutely right.
I quickly glance over, noticing that she's raising her eyebrows at me. "And more than that, do you stop to think that I might have a problem with you pretty much blowing me off for an entire night to chat it up with three girls you used to have sex with? I mean, come on, you of all people know me; I don't like that kind of thing- who would, really- and I'm not majorly confrontational on top of that, so you know I'm not gonna make a huge to-do about it. So the least you could do is take my feelings into consideration, you know, respect me- the girl you plan to marry."
I still don't know what to say, but I feel really shitty...excellent.
"I guess I'm just having problems understanding why there's a double standard with you," she sighs, relaxing back into the leather seat. "And why you feel the need to have sex with me when you get jealous. Though I've been thinking, and I reasoned out that maybe you're trying to prove something to yourself as opposed to proving something to them."
And what the hell is that supposed to mean? It's not like she doesn't enjoy angry slash jealous sex. If I'm being honest, jealous sex is some of the best sex we have. And she's never complained about it before. "I don't-"
"And then I started thinking about how...maybe it's insecurity. And from there I realized that it's because you're scared. You know I love you, and while you've come a long way, you're still worried that there's a chance I'll leave- that I'll find something better one day and that's it-we're done. And as far as the jealous sex thing goes, you pounce on me, not realizing that if I wanted to leave, sex wouldn't be able to keep me around."
Oh.
She reaches for my hand. "Zayn, everything I need is here...with you. I would not have agreed to be your wife if I felt differently. And I wish you could see that." I know that, I just...I'm still at a loss for words because God damn it, why can she read me so well. "You don't have to say anything. Just let it marinade for a while and trust that I'm not going anywhere. Ever."
