Charlie's POV
"What? No? What do you mean no?" I'm confused.
He takes a minute before closing his eyes and sighing deeply. "I mean..." He trails off. Oh no you don't buddy, answer the question because I'm quite lost here.
I fold my arms over my chest protectively. I'm not exactly sure where he's going with this, but I did think he was going to be a lot more enthusiastic. After all, he wants a bunch of kids, no? "Are you going to say anything..." I mumble, casting my eyes downward.
"I don't...fuck...I don't think that this is what's best for us," he says. "Not right now, anyway."
"Well it's a little too late for that," I tell him. "Cause it's happening, so."
"Yeah, I know," he snaps. Oh, okay. Cool. "But the timing couldn't be any more fucked up. How the hell did this even happen...aren't you on birth control?"
"I dunno," I sigh and his brows furrow. "I guess like everything else, nothing's a hundred percent. And we've done, you know... it, quite a bit, though I think it happened that one night after we went to see the wedding plan-"
"I just don't understand...why now," I think he says more to himself than me. I'm frustrated; I'm frustrated that he's not comprehending that this is happening one way or another. "Jesus Christ. I just...I can't do this right now."
"Okay, could you try to be a little more excited?" I blurt. I'm so fed up. I get his point, but come on, dude. "I know this isn't ideal, but what else are we going to do?"
"Charlie." He pinches the bridge of his nose. "We already have three fucking toddlers in the house- I mean, hopefully we end up keeping Adrian. Can you imagine four kids all under the age of five? That's fucking mental! And not to mention, I'm going to be going out of the country, you work full time, and we're going to be in and out of court in the next few weeks and...fuck. Just...fuck."
"Do you think I wanted to get pregnant right now? If I did, I wouldn't have fucking gone on birth control, don't you think?" I can't help that my voice comes out loud, but I try to calm myself down for the sake of the kids in the next room and for the sake of just trying to be a rational human being. "I want to have more kids with you; it's what we both want- something we've talked about time and time again. So yeah, I'm excited to have this baby. I agree that the timing sucks, but it's still our baby, Zayn."
"But I don't want it!" He shouts, startling the both of us. At that, it's almost like everything stops. I feel my eyes start to well up with tears. I didn't think I'd ever feel like this...not again. He stands in place with a face full of guilt, but I can't seem to shake what he's said. I shake my head and I think he's talking to me, but I don't hear anything he's saying.
I hate that I feel alone in this. He's supposed to support me, be by my side. And now I feel like a fool for even being excited in the first place. I'm confused, I'm heartbroken and I just...I wanna be alone right now. My eyes rest on the floor, but I see his Nikes come into view. He's holding onto my arms, but I'm still not giving him attention. "Shit. Baby..." His voice trails off, and sounds pretty damn close to how I feel. "Shit. That's not...I didn't mean...that didn't come out right."
I take a step back. "What do you want me to do, Zayn?" My voice cracks in the middle and I feel a large tear slide down my cheek. "Would you prefer that I get an abortion?"
"What? No," he rushes, seemingly appalled that I would even voice such an idea. "Charlie are you fucking serious? You know I don't like that shit."
I wipe at my eyes. "Well I won't do this on my own- I can't go through that again," I cry, looking up at him through my lashes and his shoulders sag. "And I won't bring a child into this world knowing the father-my future husband, doesn't want it." And I couldn't. I'd feel like absolute shit. I'd always wonder every time I look at the child, whether or not Zayn resents him or her.
