FROM THE PHOTO SHOOT THAT DESTROYED MY LIFE.
Charlie's POV
"Stop moving," Zayn says, his warm breath hitting me as he snuggles his chin further into my neck. I seriously don't know how me managed to be like this in a hospital bed. "And sleep."
"Well, you know...you could have slept on the cot in the corner," I mumble. "That's kinda why it's there."
Should I mention that this is night number two of me being squished?
Yes, I was surrounded by these two last night as well- the night that Zayn got here. Speaking of, I think he's going to reply, but he doesn't...until, "Well this time, I'm not gonna not be around if something happens. If I could sleep right on top of you, I would."
"Well you'll have to fight your son for that spot," I laugh, peeking down at Marley, who's sleeping practically buried right in my chest with his little arm thrown across me. Again, not sure how we managed.
But I gotta love my protective boys.
Now unfortunately, I'm up a lot earlier than I wanted to be (for the second morning in a row), mainly because I've had a lot of trouble sleeping. I couldn't stop thinking about everything, which is to be expected I guess. I just feel terrible and like I could have done something to avoid this.
The doctor came by yesterday though, and we had quite a lengthy conversation about exactly what went wrong. She said the miscarriage was caused by stress, which is common with spontaneous abortions. She then asked me to recount everything going on in my life that could trigger said stress. I asked her how much time and paper she had because, this is me we're talking about.
But after all was said and done, we came up with Genevieve as the root of all evil. (Go figure, right? Satan's spawn indirectly causing the situation.) Between the custody battle, the news of her being my long lost twin- which still makes me want to vomit, her 'relationship' with Zayn and her abusing Adrian, I guess my body just couldn't handle it all.
Combine all of that with my birth father coming back into the picture, my dad passing, my mom being my mom, planning a wedding and raising three toddlers, and you get the perfect recipe for disaster.
And without trying to be funny at all, the doc said she was surprised I made it as far as I did with the pregnancy given all of that.
I just can't comprehend it, considering that I went through similar-ish times when we almost lost Marley, but I was fine (for all intents and purposes) and so was Liyana. But she said that everybody is different and so is every circumstance, so I can't base what happened now on what happened then. Now with that being said, she explained that this in no way means that I'm not going to be able to have any more children, but I should understand that one miscarriage does increase the chances of having another.
And that really, really worries me. I want more babies and I know Zayn does as well, and even though he said he was okay with the chance of not being able to do so the other night and again when the doctor came to talk to us, I could see the disappointment in his eyes. And I hate being the source of that disappointment.
"You're thinking again," he mutters quietly.
"I know."
He stretches behind me I think, because I hear him sigh before I feel him shifting around. He should probably put on some clothes, but leave it to him to only sleep in some rather tight boxers in a place other than our home.
...Plus, I think the nurse will be used to it after last night if she does happen to walk in. She maybe kind of walked in on Zayn coming out of the bathroom butt naked because he forgot his towel and his underwear in the room. She was even more confused when we all tried to squish into one bed, but thought it was rather endearing.
