pretty boy | taekook

would you love me

chapter forty-four ;; would you love me
third person
°☆.。.:*・°☆

"Would you love me if I couldn't speak?"

"Of course I would."

"Would you love me if I couldn't walk?"

"Of course I'd love you."

"Would you love me if I were bald, still find me pretty and worth while?"

"Your looks do not entail my love for you, Guk."

"Would you love me if I was always cold?"

"It would only give me a reason to keep you warm."

"Would you love me if I was bruised all over?"

"It would only give me an excuse to be more gentle."

"Would you love me if I were in pure agony, begging to be dead?"

"Of course I would, never letting you die."

"What if you didn't have a choice on whether I died or stayed alive?"

"Then I wouldn't know what to do."

"Would you...would you love me if I was on my death bed, cancer spreading throughout my body and not knowing what to do, not having a way to move or look pretty like I do now, bald and covered in bruises, pure pain in my eyes as tiredness sunk in till the very last second for my breaths to be given?"

"As I've said all of the times before, Jeongguk, I will love you till you can't love any longer and then some. There will always be a spot for you in my heart, even though you may not be here." They had been repeating the same thing in a time span of twenty minutes, asking questions with the same meaning but different wording. Jeongguk slowly nodded, leaning into Taehyung's warm chest as both of them sat together on a comfy sofa, back to front. A blanket cascaded over their close bodies. Other questions would have to wait till later. He didn't want to bother Taehyung anymore. Being a pain always came easy to the younger, at least in his own eyes, "When do you want to tell them?" Taehyung's voice suddenly softens, dropping lower as minty breath spread down his neck and across a rosy ear.

Jeongguk heaves a heavy sigh, leaning further into a source of warmth and letting his head fall back, resting onto a broad shoulder. In all honesty, he was trying not to think of such things. A moment in time where all responsibilities and problems were pushed to the side was all he craved. One fear was to have the truth of his health be leaked.

Maybe it was from the numbness surging throughout Jeongguk's body, in and out with normal cold spells. He had gotten used to the constant pain rushing through sore veins. Immature white blood cells were overrunning his system and teeming with so many cautions and concerns. Random spurts of pain multiplying and shooting up would occur, causing a frail hand to grip tightly onto something for stability, but alas, Jeongguk would hide those moments from Taehyung.

"I'll tell them when I know what words to say..." Jeongguk lazily responds. His eyes drop ever so slightly and cause half-lidded brown orbs to shine through long eyelashes.

The latter continues to run his index finger along Jeongguk's immaculate cheekbone. Drilling a memory like this, of someone with beauty still looking healthy and happy was his main goal. Taehyung understood what was looming soon. The elder's waiting for so many days of torture and tears, but he also knows there's such a high chance for them to get through it all.

"Pretty." Taehyung softly says with a quiet chuckle, pressing a soft kiss onto Jeongguk's rosy and dry lips, "Let me get you some water, and we'll talk more in a little." He had become oddly light all of a sudden, ordering the younger to sit down once he protested to come with him.

If only Jeongguk understood why Taehyung had left him. If only for a short minute. As soon as Taehyung was sure of being alone, the boy collapsed to his knees, hands slamming into the ground and breathing shakily. Everything was pent up, every emotion and painful feeling stabbing at his large and loving heart.

A strong man, he had to be. A strong man, he wasn't sure he was. Always doubtful yet determined, determined to act strong- only around Jeongguk, of course. There had to be someone to act as an open arm, a support beam, and that's exactly what Taehyung was. No matter how many tears were waiting to burst out with a loud wail, no matter how badly his fists wanted to slam into the ground and turn up dirt, those desires to break down and rest would always be hidden.

After only a thirty second time span for a short recollection, Taehyung gets off of the cold kitchen floor. The cool tile reminded him of Jeongguk's hands. He slowly walked, taking deep and even breaths while retrieving the water bottle. There were so many more seconds needed to become fully composed, but he couldn't stand around any longer, taking in one last deep breath upon leaving the kitchen and letting eyes lightly flutter shut.

With a newfound smile trying so hard not to falter at the sight held in front of him was almost impossible. Sadness seeped through white and straight teeth, coming out as a black tar that stained and tainted beauty. Jeongguk looks up with dilated eyes, screaming concern but throwing that away upon the feeling of coarse hands grasping around his own in such a calm manner. The younger boy was almost swooning at just the sight of Taehyung, seeming to fall in love all over again.

He'd been getting that feeling quiet often. It was like constant pangs surging through his heart and mind at the same time. Heartbeats faltered every now and then while staring up with innocent eyes. This usually occurred when the two were at their closest, breathing heavily as tongues and necks were sucked on or they were bundled up with each other's essences on the mind at night, but now a phenomenon like this took place daily.

Taehyung ever so gently lifted Jeongguk up, like a thin piece of glass, just so he could sneak back underneath the frail boy and be a soft mattress. He had been happily told multiple times his body felt like a teddy bear, even though toned muscles laid underneath fabric. They both work to lift up the cream and fluffy blanket once more, engulfing the two- especially Jeongguk -into a sweet warmth. Not even a proper hammock nor Taehyung's bed could amount to how comfortable the younger felt.

"Do you," a low voice begins but wavers slightly, afraid to pronounce a hard question, "think that we should tell your dad about any of this?"

"He already knows." Jeongguk whispers, ear against Taehyung's chest and eyes somewhat droopy towards the tv. He had become so tired, "He got the message in the mail, I'm sure, and his name's still put as my guardian. My dad knows all about my medical issues."

Taehyung licks his bottom lip, nodding slowly, "Does he know about the two of us?"

"I hope not." dainty fingers begin to draw patterns along an abdomen: messy circles and lazy swirls.

"Do you think that we, the two of us, should visit him soon and discuss everything? Maybe even along the ideas of you fully living in with me? I'd protect you from anything he does, and we could bring some of your stuff over- the stars and fairylights. I really enjoy those." He was speaking in fantasy, but Jeongguk no doubt loved the idea, lips curling slightly.

Living with Taehyung was all he wanted to do now, being something on his slowly forming bucket list. A tanned hand wrapped around a bruised and pale one, running a coarse thumb along soft skin before placing a feathery kiss onto the back. The raven haired boy lightly laughs, showing bunny teeth and eye crinkles that all would adore, even with the sore presence throughout his body.

"How about tomorrow?" Jeongguk asks once fingers intertwine.

The latter was undeniably shocked, taken aback by the bold idea and suggestion, but furrowed eyebrows soon softened into a light smile, one of pride, "As long as you're comfortable. We can do whatever you wish." Taehyung looks to a clear object next to their close bodies, "Oh, here's the water bottle." Jeongguk giggles again and takes it.

"Thanks." He kisses an exposed tan collarbone.

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sorry this was a rly crap filler but o my i wonder what's gonna happen in the next update

ps- still not over fire hot damn i will never be over it

pps- my hair is now back to magenta but hella vibrant whoa