fifteen

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A/N: heya early update because I'm going to be in Idaho for a choir/band trip all weekend, I'm super excited!!

"Daisy, you've got to speak to Alex," Eleanor said as I pressed ignore on yet another call from Alex.

"No," I said, staying stubborn like I had been all weekend. "I'm not going to talk to him over the phone and I don't want to look at him right now. If he really cares that much about me then he'll show it."

Eleanor sighed and left our dorms and I continued to sit and finish doing my homework that I hadn't done due to the dance the night before.

Monday morning at breakfast, I still sat down without looking at Alex. I think he finally got the hint to leave me alone because he didn't approach me at all before I walked to my first class of the day.

I took my new usual spot in the back on the classroom away from everyone in English, struggling to pay attention and follow all that Professor Hemmings was saying. I saw him eyeing me a few times but luckily left me alone again like I'd wanted.

I'd managed to avoid Alex all the way until I was sitting in the library doing my homework before dinner like I usually did. I finished up the last of it, putting my books into my bag and walking into one of the aisles to find a new book to read since I'd finished the last one.

I felt my phone buzz in the pocket of my bag, so I pulled it out and looked at the message, which was from Eleanor asking if I wanted to watch a movie with her and the girls after dinner. I was about to respond when I walked right into something tall in front of me.

"I'm sorry--" I started to say but stopped when I looked up at the person in front of me. "Actually, no I'm not."

"Daisy, will you please listen to me?" Alex asked in a hushed voice since we were in the library, stepping forward and almost cornering me against the bookshelf behind me.

I sighed, finally giving in and just listening to whatever he had to say. "Fine. Speak."

"I never meant to hurt you, Daisy," he said. "I promise, that was never what I wanted. It's just that I feel there's a wall between us. I feel like you've just been distant with me and I don't want that."

"Well I feel like you don't trust me," I said. "You thought I was screwing around with my English professor and then thought I wasn't interested anymore because I was trying to be cautious of what I was doing so that would stop."

Alex stayed quiet, closing his eyes and resting his hand against his forehead.

"Maybe this just isn't working anymore," I said.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"I mean, maybe we should break up."

"No, Daisy please, we can make it work," he said. "We've worked everything out before, we can work this out too."

"I don't know," I said.

"We haven't been communicating our feelings with each other well enough," he said. "That's all it is. Now you know how I feel and I know how you feel."

I looked down, unsure of what I should actually do. I felt Alex's warm hands against my face, tilting my head up to look at him.

"Please, Daisy, I love you and I want this to work out between us," he said. "I'm so sorry, I promise, no more distrust in each other, and no more games with my friends sending girls to make you jealous. Just give me one more chance, please."

I hesitated, and when I saw the pain in Alex's face I felt for a second like I was making the wrong decision. What if Alex truly did care about me and I was about to throw all of that away?

"Okay," I whispered.

He relaxed a little, leaning down and pressing his soft lips to my forehead, then down to my own lips to kiss me.

"I promise, I won't let you down this time," he said quietly before kissing me again.

"Come on, we're going to be late to dinner," I said, allowing him to take my hand and walk out of the library with me.

-

"You seem a little more relaxed," Eleanor said as I walked into the dining hall and sat next to her.

"I am, a little," I said.

"Did you work things out with Alex?" she asked.

"Yeah," I said. "We're okay now."

"That's good," she said. We spotted Blair and Eileen walking into the dining hall then, looking as though they were arguing about something.

"That can't be good," I said, both of us watching as they approached our table.

"But you know, Blair, there was a time in your life when you were extremely confused and didn't know what you wanted either," Eileen was saying. Blair looked a bit distressed.

"What's going on?" I asked.

Blair sat down without saying anything, slumping against her hand once she'd sat at the table.

"Karen talked to Blair and apologized for what happened Saturday night and explained that she just didn't know how she felt about Blair yet," Eileen explained.

"Oh, screw her!" Eleanor said. "Don't waste your time on her if she 'doesn't know how she feels yet.' You're not going to spend your whole life waiting around for her when you have clearly admitted your own feelings for her."

"But Blair of all people should know how difficult it can be to figure out things about yourself and how you feel about other people," Eileen said. "And I think she should give her a fair chance and see where it goes."

Not forming my own opinion on the situation, I began consuming myself in my own thoughts, leaving it to the girls to decide what Blair should do about Karen.

Alex said goodnight to me before I headed to my dorm, where the girls were putting a movie in for us to watch, but I fell asleep less than 20 minutes into it.

-

A/N: the Alex and Daisy ship is still sailing

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