The Mistakes We Make

Chapter 5

I held my breath. I didn't want to know the answer but I was going to eventually. Gina had made me get dressed and drove me in my car to the local drug store. I walked in and went right to the bathroom. I waited as Gina came back with the test, all five of them, and a giant bottle of water. I drank the whole bottle then kicked her out so I could do my business. I let her back in when I finished all of them rested around the sink. Gina was passing back and forth I was sitting on the floor back to the wall knees to my chest.

"What am I going to do?" I asked resting my chin on my arms."My mom will kill me so will her crazy husband." 

"If that happens then you'll stay with Dylan or you just get an abortion. No matter what you do I'm there. Dylan and I are there, you know that."

"Abortion doesn't sound too bad," I said. I pushed myself up and looked at her as she stopped in front of me. "I've got no job. I've got school, and Wyatt isn't here. I can't do this. I can't raise a child on my own. I can't-"

"You don't have to. That's why they have clinics. Look," Gina grabbed my hands."If you are I'm there. I will be there with you for everything. I will set up the appointment I will handle everything." Gina's phone beeped sounding the alarm telling me it was time to determine my future. One line I was fine. Two I'm screwed. 

   I took a deep breath and walked over I check. Two, two, two, two, two. All five have two solid pink lines.stumbledled. I caught myself with the wall and fell to the floor."Casey-" Gina walked over and crouched in front of me. I can't breathe. I can't move. I kept my eyes closed. It had to be a dream. All of it had too.

   I couldn't be that girl. The one who has a kid and the father, not there. I was the kid with no father and it sucked. I knew Wyatt he'd want to be involved in every tiny aspect because that's who he is. But I couldn't let him hurt our child the way he hurt me. I can't. Can't be a parent all alone. Not yet. Not the right time, not the right guy."Casey look at me." I opened my eyes. My lungs burned."Breathe in through your nose out through your mouth." I tired. It took everything in me to do so. It took me at least five minutes to calm down, but those five minutes felt like an eternity. "Do you want me to set up the appointment?" I nodded. I can't do this alone. 

    Gina set the appointment for Thursday at 4:30 that's two days I would live with knowing what I know. That there is a child growing inside of me. Half me, half Wyatt. Don't get me wrong I've thought about it. If we were more then just high-school sweat hearts. If we would have a future together. What our lives would be like. But there is no we. There couldn't be. He hurt me...broke me. Who knows if he was doing it behind my back long before that. Had he been cheating on me? I can't. Every time I think about it. About her. About what I saw. It burned in my chest.

I walked up the stairs up to Dylan's room Gina right behind me. I reached the second floor and I opened the door crossing my arms and looking at him as he played his game. I put on a fake smile and he smiled back. The only difference was his smile was real."Hey." My smile faded. My best friend since I was in diapers was right here in front of me. I knew Gina was behind me sending him signals."Are you okay?" I broke. Tears built and they fell down my cheeks. Dylan stood and walked over. Wrapping his big arms around me. I wrapped my arms around his body."It's okay." he said several times in a calming voice. After a minute I had stopped long enough to just get the words out. Those impossible words I didn't think I would be saying for years and not crying tears of sadness but tears of joy.

"I'm pregnant."

I sat at the kitchen table legs crossed as I watched Dylan passing back and forth. Gina did her job of getting him calm."I'm going to KILL him!" I didn't speak. I couldn't. I just watched as my two best friends acted like an old married couple. I scrapped the top of the icecream bin that I held in the hole of my crossed legs. Listening to Dylan all the things he wanted to do to Wyatt. Gina continuing to mention that she knew he couldn't actually kill him.

"If you do that you will be arrested and never see CJ again who is that helping?"

"I don't care you can't just do that. Get a girl pregnant and do what he did to her."

"Dylan he didn't, doesn't, and won't know."

"I don't care!"

"You don't have to worry about it Dylan, we're taking care of it Thursday."I watched as his head snapped between me and Gina."What?"

"What? What do you mean what? You can't do that, abort the baby." He crossed his arms as if he'd finish the conversation.

"She can it's her body."

"I know that I mean.." He walked over to me."This baby is part of you CJ. I know you better than anyone. I know that it would be the best part of your life and you wouldn't be alone Gina and I are here. We'd never leave you. Besides I'd be an amazing uncle." I knew he was trying to make me smile. I did a little but it faded fast. I knew what it was like looking at someone who reminds you of someone you hate with everything in you. Looking at someone who reminds you every day about the pain you felt. My mother has been looking at my brother and I like that for years. I couldn't and wouldn't put my child through that.

"Dylan-"

"No. I know you. You do this you'll wonder your whole life. You are not your mom. Casey Jamie I know you. You've always been a mom at heart. You've always wanted to be a mom. If you do this I know you will never be the CJ I know and love."

Dylan has been stuck to my side like glue 

"I can't. I'm sorry." I walked out of the room and to my car."I have to do this."