Broken ( a Dancemoms or Dance Moms fan fic )

Numbness is all

Chapter Eleven- Numbness is all I felt

Maddie's POV

"Maddie, why do you have cuts all up your arm?" Kendall, who was now in my bedroom, propped upon my pillow, asked me.

"My cat. How many times do I have to repeat this story?" I asked, rolling my eyes.

"Maddie, you and I both know how lame of an excuse that is. Plus, I don't think a cat could scratch so deep, and so perfectly straight." Kendall rolled her icy blue eyes, not convinced by a word I was saying.

I sighed, giving in. "Fine, Kendall. Do you really want to know the truth? Joffrey didn't accept me, but you already know that. However, you don't know why they didn't accept me." I paused, taking a deep breath, as I closed my eyes for about a minute, before continuing.

"Kendall, they didn't accept me because I am too 'fat.' I don't have the ideal dancer's body, and I am afraid healthy dieting won't help anything, because isn't that what I've been doing all my life?

"So, I began skipping meals, which only brought me to a hospital. Hence, why I didn't show up at dance these past few weeks. To add onto all of that, Chloe won't leave me alone.

"Ever since Josh and I began dating, she has brought me down, every chance she's had. I'm scared now, Kendall. I broke up with Josh for her.

"She's brought me down to an all new low, so I began cutting. You wouldn't understand, but it felt so relieving. The first cut brought numbness all throughout my body.

"I didn't feel pain; from the blade or the events that have unfolded. I didn't feel anything. I can already feel it becoming an addiction, but I don't care. You just can't tell anyone Kendall, please." Tears flowed down my cheeks, as I vented every last word to her.

"Oh, Maddie," She broke off, wrapping me in a hug, as her shoulder's heaved up and down from crying. "Maddie, you can't do this to yourself. If something happened to you- we would move on, that's just how we were designed,- but I would be devastated." Kendall opened her mouth, but shut it, letting out all her tears.

"Sh, Kendall." I cupped her face in my hands, wiping away a few stray tears. "You shouldn't be the one crying. I'm sorry."

She nodded her head, blinking back a few tears.

She sniffled, as I quickly attempted to change the mood.

"How about we watch a movie?" I asked, smiling.

She nodded her head, trying her best to plaster a smile onto her face.

"Does 'Mean Girls' sound good to you?" I asked, holding up the movie.

"As always." She laughed, a smile spreading across her face.

I nodded my head, popping the movie into the DVD player, watching as the previews began to play.

About twenty minutes into the movie, I received a text message from none other than Chloe.

{Text Messages}

-- Chloe
- Maddie

-- Ha! I've been laughing for an hour over this picture I saw of you! It was a cows body, swapped with your face. It's accurate though, right?

- I have told you that I'm sorry multiple times, Chloe. I truly am, but if you really want to act this childish towards me, then I'm going to block your number. I'm at a sleepover and I would appreciate it if you didn't interrupt my movie.

-- Oh god, I really hope you aren't wearing shorts, fat ass.

{Text Messages Over}

I switched my phone off, focusing my gaze on the ground as I blinked back tears.

"Maddie, are you ok?" Kendall asked, noticing my sudden change in attitude.

"I-uh-me? Yeah, I j-just need to go to the bathroom." I choked out, nearly inaudible.

I stood up, rushing towards the bathroom.

I didn't know what to do anymore.

Author's Note: Yay! I edited this(: Vote please!