Happy endings are SHITE.

Chapter 9

As the last bell of the day rang a feeling of unexplained anxiety exploded in my chest. What if, what if, what if, was all that was currently going through my mind. It was an almost painful amount of doubt. I had never been this self aware before. I have always believed myself to be perfect. 

I mean I am, right? I don't even know anymore. Why was a crush affecting me like this? Sure I'd never had one before but weren't they supposed to make you all giddy and shit? 

"Ugh calm down Beaux. You're amazing. Lets do this, Okay?" I said to myself effectively feeding my ego enough to get my feet moving towards Axel's last class. She stood outside the door to her art class waiting for me. God it was a miracle that I was asking a girl like her out. 

"Beaux! There you are. I was begining to think you weren't going to come." She said this all while lightly laughing. Just that was enough to completely convince me to continue with my plans. 

"So, what'd you want to ask me?" I stared at her for a small amount of time trying to come up with the perfect words for this. 

"Go out with me." Came out of my mouth before I realized what I was saying. 

"Um I'm dating someone and no offence but I don't think I'd ever date someone that not only weighs less than me but is also way prettier than any of my friends. I mean why would you even ask? You should know I'm not single better than anyone else after all I am dating your brother. And-" I'm pretty sure she said more but it fell on deaf ears. All I could tell was that she walked away after finishing her lines. I even think she was giggling as she left. God I probably seemed like I was about to cry because I'm pretty sure I am. 

I was completely confident she wouldn't say no. But not only was that confidence misplaced, she was with my brother. Why? He's not even a lead. Stop. You should be happy for them. After all you do love them both or at least like them a lot right? Yeah you should support them not be some antagonist plotting against their relationship. 

I know everything I had just thought was correct but that didn't stop the heavy tears and quiet sobs that apparently accompanied every rejection. Fine I'll let myself cry it out and feel jealous. Only for tonight though. When tomorrow comes I swear I'll be their biggest supporter. I swear. 

I got up off the ground I had some how planted myself to. Wiping ever falling tears from my cheeks, probably smearing my concealer making the bruises completely visible, I made my way out of the now deserted school to my off white car. 

"I have to get a new backpack." I said quietly. Deciding an accessory that was the same color as Zander's room was too hard to deal with right now. 

I made a quick stop at the supermarket buying three things; 

A jade backpack to match my eyes. 

Ice cream. 

And that epic nail polish. 

I just needed the extra things to try and rebuild my crumbling self confidence. It may be harder than expected.

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I feel like I'm abusing my character. This chapter almost made me cry when I was writing it. Well I finally did the confession part, right? Do you guys like how it's going so far? I kinda do. But then again I am the author so.... BYE!!!!!!!!

~Blood-Fawn