Door to Jannah

Chapter 30

"Even though a man is responsible for his gaze, you are responsible for what you give him to gaze at."

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Ayesha's POV

Was I sad because my brother was sad or because Ahmad didn't refer to tell me things? Huh of course because my brother was sad. I did not even accept the gift given by Shirana because she was the reason of all sadness. Ahmad woke me up for fajr even though I did not tell him to do so. When I woke up for fajr any how after a long years of break, I recalled my Dada's (grand father) words.

'Dadu what is sabr?' I asked while I was reading Qur'an and came across a word 'sabr'.

'According to Qur'an sabr has multiple meanings. People interpret it as patience but the word sabr is far wider than the word patience and that is why reading Qur'an in Arabic language is better than any other language. First and foremost when you worship Allah then you have attained sabr. You want to sleep badly but when fajr time comes, you get up to bow towards your Lord, that's sabr. The whether is too cold to do wudu but you do it to seek your prayer, then you have achieved a part of sabr. Patience and prayer go hand in hand. If you prayed then you have knocked down the shaytaan residing in you. Allah says in the Qur'an "And seek assistance through patience and prayer..." [al-Baqarah 2:45].' (To be continued in sha Allah)

I hurried and offered salah and dresser up to leave. I didn't want to confront Ahmad so I wrote a letter to him stating that I will be with Hana today as her nikah is taking place tomorrow. The truth was I was going to meet my brother first and then Hana. Avoiding his eyes I finally skipped the house and directed towards my house.

Everyone in my house was like we met yesterday then why did you come so soon to meet. Urgh do I need any reasons to come and meet my family?

Finally I was left alone with Ahmish bhai while he was doing some work in his lappy.

"How are you feeling?" I asked in concern.

"Stop it Ayesha." He said with his the-ahmish-look.

"What?" I rolled my eyes to him.

"Stop making me feel like I am some cancer patient." He said and I was in an awful state.

"Heart break is much more severe than a cancer." And he again rolled his eyes towards me.

"Ayesha I guess you are a movie addict, who made you watch all that love struck movies?" He said resuming with his lappy work.

"No I have been through it too Bhai and I know the pain." I assured him that I know his pain.

"Yeah okay may be I was hurt but my lord doesn't allow me to worry much about me. You know real love starts after nikah? It was me who was blind in love and my lord opened my eyes that it's not love. We shouldn't attach our heart to someone before our nikah and I did wrong so either I am being punished or being tested by Allah. It's all part of the Divine plan by the writer of our life. Remember I told you when you were getting married that we plan and he plans, and he is the best of planner? If her name is written with me than even the most powerful man will not be able to depart us and if her name is written with someone else then even the most powerful man of this earth will neither be able to put us together. Not a leaf falls but he knows, so you think he hasn't planned anything for me? May be we weren't just meant to be together and there's someone more deserving written for her. I am just sad because I attached my heart to someone who may not be my future wife. Allah how will I face my future wife and what will I tell her, that I loved someone before her? This duniya is meant to break your heart and if you attach your heart to it, then you will be more and more heart broken and that is why Allah gave us sabr. Every time I feel distressed I pick up the Qur'an and it calms my heart. Yesterday I read in Surah al Kahf that 'That which is on earth We have made but as a glittering show for the earth in order that We may test them as to which of them are best in conduct.' [Al Kahf: 7]. Love is something the most glittering thing in this world nowadays and all thanks to fiction in which TV series, movies and books plays a major role. So I should keep patience to show Allah that I am among the people to which Qur'an addresses the 'best in conduct'. Now you say again that I am in pain and I will forget you are my sister." He winked at me with a smile and resumed to his work. Why on earth everyone lectures me? But his lecture gave me guilt of mistreating Shirana. If he knows how i treated her then he'll surely kill me.