KHLEO THOMAS @Khleo_T: I never would of thought speaking to someone who couldn’t respond to me would be so therapeutic. #PrayingforGabbie
KHLEO THOMAS @Khleo_T: You can put everything into something and end up with nothing.
KHLEO THOMAS @Khleo_T: Leave the past behind. It’s a brand new day, make it count.
KHLEO THOMAS @Khleo_T: Before you give up, think about why you held on for so long.
KHLEO THOMAS @Khleo_T: If the feelings come back, it just means they never really went away.
KHLEO THOMAS @Khleo_T: Sometimes it's easier to say you don't care, instead of trying to explain all the reasons why you do.
I scrolled through Khleo’s twitter feed and read the tweets as I sat backstage of the huge stadium while Aubrey rehearsed and went through sound check. All the chaos of his team around me seemed to be muffled out by my thoughts, the pain from loosing Gabbie made me run away from my feelings towards the situation. All I wanted to do was get high, fuck, and make money to keep her alive not noticing that I had completely fell short of my duty of being a great sister and bestfriend . I must admit I was relieved that Khleo was visting her despite our fall out it showed how great of a guy he was and it also showed how fucked up of a person I was becoming. Khleo was the first time I had ever let anyone penetrate my heart besides Gabbie, and it scared me I didn’t want to be in love with him or anyone for that matter. Love was sacrificial and I wasn’t ready to make any sacrifices, I was growing to enjoy the lifestyle I had obtained quickly with the money I stole from others. Gabbie would understand everything I’m doing is so when she wakes up from Acoma we would have a place to call home and plenty of money in both of our accounts. Although I yearned to know what true love felt like I wasn’t willing to have it at Gabbie’s expense so if I had to hustle to get us there then that’s what I’m going to do.
I felt the stinging sensation of tears forming in my eyes as my heart began to ache. Flash backs from the night I found her lying in her own pool of blood began to replay in my mind like a broken record. I didn’t want to see those images I didn’t want to be reminded of the struggle and pain she went through while I wasn’t there to protect her. The tears flowed endlessly as I sat there surrounded by a room full of people who didn’t even notice the pain I was in. The tender touch of Angela’s hands rubbing on my lower back forced me to look up at her with pain in my eyes, I opened my mouth to speak but she shushed me placing her finger over my glossed lips holding onto me tight.
“I was wondering when you were going to break down and let it all out.” She spoke in a soft tone as she held onto me and placed her chin on the top of my head. “I told you as long as I’m around I got you, you can talk to me about anything Nene you’re my bitch my ride or die.” I listened to her as she spoke to me until this moment I always questioned her motives with me, she wasn’t really there for me the night Khleo and I found Gabbie and we never really went into deep detail about it, it felt good to know that I had someone who had my back endlessly to help me through this troubled time.
“It’s just fucked up, my entire life is fucked up right now Angie. I don’t even have a place to call home anymore, Khleo and I are done, the money from Berg is damn near gone from all the hospital bills, and I miss my fucking sister.” I poured my emotions out to her and she listened despite the fact that I was soaking her shirt with tears she held on to me and she listened and that’s all I needed, after surrounding myself with niggas who don’t give a fuck about me or just wanted me as a trophy it felt good to have someone who noticed my hurt in a room full of happy people.
“I know Nene, I know. You do have a home you can stay with Michael and I until you get back on your feet trust me your blessing is coming.”
“I don’t need a blessing I need money.” I countered wanting nothing to do with the thought of there being a God. I leaned up and grabbed a tissue out of my purse and dabbed underneath my eyes making sure not to smudge my make up any more than my tears already have. I didn’t know how I felt about living with Michael even if for the time being , the way he acted at the radio station really came out of left field everything in me hoped that my conclusion of him having feelings for me was wrong.
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Diary of a Vixen (Fan Fic Completed)
Fanfiction(WON'T BE ABLE TO READ SOME CHAPTERS WITHOUT FOLLOWING ME SO FOLLOW) Sheneka Adams is all too familiar with the ins and outs of the game, with only a year of experience under her belt she begins to take over the urban model/video vixen game, leaving...
