Two Reflections (Alren)

Chapter 23 (Part 1)

Finally the showcases' hell is over. I'm glad we are done with those; anyway I've got nothing to showcase anymore.

What am I going to showcase? Pain? Loneliness? I would be sign by tons of managers and record labels if that is what they were looking for.

Guess they are looking for artists; singers. It's not that I can sing very well lately. I'm straining hard. My voice won't come out as often as I want it to; it is tired, exhausted, almost broken.

I used to have a cool huskiness in my voice; now It's more like a trucker's voice.

Every bone, every muscle in my body hurts from the lack of sleep. Every breath I take hurts. It literally hurts on my ribs when I try to inhale too hard.

Now that this is over I don't know what to do anymore; I guess I should go back to sleep to the apartment or move once for all.

The girls had this thing planned for tonight; they want to chill now that the showcases are done.

Mikey is going. I think Dinah invited him. She maybe wanted my friend to be there to support me or control me if I freak out; or maybe those two are hooking up. Honestly I don't give a damn. I would usually stick my nose in my friends businesses but I'm not in the mood.

Obviously I don't feel like going; since everything has happened Ally and I had barely exchanged I few words. Mikey is pushing me to go though; I think he wants to help.

Sooner or later I'll be back. I thought maybe I can ask Normani to switch rooms. Or maybe I should definitely move; I don't know if I will be able to put up with seeing Ally everyday knowing she won't ever want to be with me.

We approached the front door. I sighed and got my hands inside of  the pockets of my denim jacket. I must look like a ghost right now; specially because of the dark circles under my eyes.

Michael rang the bell and Normani came to open the door for us. She looked shocked to see me.

"Yeah....I know I look bad" I shrugged.

"We didn't know you were coming" She looked confused. Honestly if I was one of them I wouldn't expect me to come either.

"I shouldn't have though...so...."

"Are you kidding? This is your home" Mani said hugging me. "It's just that nobody knew...Why didn't you tell Dinah, Michael?" She asked.

"I didn't know she was coming till 10 minutes ago" He honestly said.

I kind of feel a weird atmosphere. Why is that big of a deal that I am here?

We got into the living room and soon Dinah threw herself into my arms.

"Awww dawg! I missed you" She said hugging me tight.

"Ouch" I whined. My body still hurts.

I closed my eyes during Dinah's embrace preparing myself mentally to see Ally. It's not that I haven't seen her these past days. It is just that probably we will have to act normal in order to not make the whole reunion awkward.

Dinah took a step to my side and greeted Michael. When she did so I could see her. There she was; sitting on the sofa's arm just as perfect as always. Ally had her hair on point and her make-up done just like any other day; while I look like shit, I must add.

She gave me half a smile and I just gave her a nod acknowledging her.

Ally stood up and reached me. She was in front of me. I just stood there; I can't think clear anymore.

"Hey, Lo" She gave me a quick hug, almost like if we were strangers. "I'm so glad to see you"

I just shrugged at her. Of course I love to see her, but every time it happens it is just a reminder of how I would never have her.