Don't Let Me Go

Chapter 40

Kayla knocked on the door, waking me up and I smiled towards her as she stepped inside. When she noticed Tony she changed in some way I don't think I can explain, it was like her whole life had been turned around. 

"He will be fine, right?" She murmured as she tightened the hair band keeping the dark hair up in a pony tail. I nodded, forcing a weak smile as she sat down next to me on the only chair. It was big enough for us both but we had to squeeze in. Still, feeling Kayla nearby made me feel okay.

We sat in silence for what seemed to be forever. I leaned my head on Kayla's shoulder who in returned   rested her head on mine. I wanted to go back to sleep, I had only gotten about three hours of sleep before Kayla came here and I was exhausted. 

"When will he wake up?" Kayla's pretty voice whispered. She was also very sleepy, I could tell by her voice and her almost closing eyes. 

"I don't know." I said. "Do you want to drive home to me and get some real rest in a bed?" I suggested. Kayla looked at Tony, his lifeless body just lying there so still and silent. I wanted him to scream and jump and laugh and run so I could see that he could do that, but he couldn't. It was so surreal, this wasn't supposed to happen to me, it was just something you heard about and felt sorry for that person, but it would never happen to me.

"Yes, thank you. That would be great. It's really late and I need to get some things done while I'm staying here." She forced a smile on her pretty lips, rising up from her seat. She gave Tony a peck on the cheek, stroking her hand along his arm as she walked away from his bed.

Her car stood parked close to mine on the large parking lot made for the hospital, the shining red standing out from all the other dark cars. She got in to her small car with the address to my house and drove off just behind me. 

It was cold inside my car, it was getting colder outside, too, even though it was just the start of September. I assumed the autumn was coming quickly and was probably correct since the leaves were changing colours. 

I had to admit autumn was my favorite season of the year, but I wanted to keep the warmth from the summer a bit longer. I missed walking around in dresses and feeling the sun on my skin, I liked that feeling. I wanted to go somewhere warm, as soon as Tony would be able to. He could need a get away, we could bring Kayla and Harry and have drinks on the beach and let Tony absorb the sun as much as he could, pale as he is. 

"Here it is." I spoke as I unlocked my flat door, guiding my tired friend inside of the small building. Without further introduction to the house I showed Kayla to the guest room where she lied down on the bed, covering her fully dressed body with the covers and closed her eyes. I strolled in to my room, connecting my phone to the charger. The screen lit up, allowing me to see it was half past four in the morning. I stepped out of my clothes, just leaving them on the floor for know as I lied my head on the pillow and was fast asleep again.

-

Another four days passed, Kayla and I sat with Tony almost all the hours of the day. We ate lunch in the hospital cafeteria or the Japanese restaurant just across the road of we didn't have that much money on us. Their food was really cheap but then again, the food was what you payed for. 

Right now the world was moving slowly, time not even ticking by. Today was the day the doctors had said that if Tony didn't wake up they didn't know how much longer he would be in this state. After day three they were getting worried and now, day five, they were almost freaking out. 

It wasn't normal for a person with my brother's so called 'mild' situation to be gone for so long, it was likely for him to wake up the day after or even the same day this all happened, but nothing. 

"Do you think today is the day?" Kayla murmured, still grasping on to my brother's hand. I did believe today was the day, then again, I did believe everyday was the day. 

He lied so still on the bed, his stubble growing stronger on his cheeks and his skin was going paler. I wanted him to wake up, I needed him to wake up, so did Kayla. 

"I was so mad at him." My attention went to Kayla as she spoke to me. "Full on mad, I just wanted him to disappear but I didn't mean it like this." She cried, tears falling down her also pale cheeks. I wrapped my arm around her shoulder, her head resting against my body as I stroked her dark hair and allowed her to show weakness in front of me.

"What happened between you guys? You were so happy together and now this? I don't get it." I murmured as Kayla wiped her tears away with the tissue I had in my purse. My crying had gotten out of control lately so it was nice having a set of tissues with you. 

"As you know, we didn't do the dating thing when you were around. We just enjoyed each others company and just had fun. But the looks you gave us, you thought we were dating right?" She giggled, lightening up a little.

"Yes, indeed. I thought about you getting married at the wedding." I giggled along with her, letting myself smile for once. 

"Well, lets just say Tony didn't want the same thing." She sighed, going back to the sad Kayla I had seen to often this past days.

"Why?" I wondered.

"He said we had it good just like we were then, friends with that extra spark. I wanted him to be mine, full on mine. I think I love him and he just doesn't get that, he just thinks I'm in it for the sex." She choked. "I'm so sorry! Here I am talking about sex with your brother while he is unconscious and you are his sister, I'm so sorry." She begged, taking my hands in hers. I just laughed, the way she was so embarrassed was cute and she did really care for me in a way which I really appreciated.

"It's okay, keep explaining." I smiled. 

"Well, when I explained it to him he just shrugged it off, saying I was crazy. I didn't tell him I loved him, I'm not sure I could deal with the rejection I would receive if I had said it to him. However, I want to be with him so badly, he is like the sunshine of my life. He make me happy like no one every has. I never had it good with boys, ever. They just played with me or broke my heart in tiny pieces but when I met Tony I realized I wasn't even in love with those boys. I never felt for them like I did for him and now when I found someone good to love he doesn't want my love. I hate it." She cried again, reusing the tissue I handed her moments ago. 

"I'm sure when he wakes up from this he will understand that he can't lose you. When I thought about why he killed him self I couldn't find a reason and one of the things I know he had to live for was you. I know you make him happy, I can tell. I'm his sister and I've known him for eighteen years so if someone can tell it's me." I smiled, wrapping my arms around Kayla in a tight hug.

"I just love him." She whispered. "A lot." I pulled my arms away from her, sitting down on my seat again.

"I love you too." A raspy, murmuring voice pulled out attention from everything else in this room to my brother and my whole heart fell down as I saw how his eyes were opened.