Dancing with fire. [A Severus Snape fan fiction]

Secrets spilled

Severus

I looked nervously around the living room. I had conjured up a table for two and had laid it with candles. I sat at one of the chairs waiting for Socrates and Phoenix to arrive downstairs. I hoped Socks wasn't giving her an interrogation. That house elf was too shrewd for his own good. Soon, the tale tell shuffling of tiny feet alerted me to their arrival. I rose from my seat as Phoenix entered accompanied by Socks. "You look incredible" I growled as I hungrily took in her appearance. A shy smile tugged at the corners of her lips. She took the seat opposite me and I resumed mine. "This looks wonderful" she said as she swept her hand over the candles and wordlessly set the wicks on fire. I had to admit, I was impressed. I thought I would feel uncomfortable having someone else in my home, but I didn't. When I looked at her, she sent my mind reeling with a huge concoction of alien emotions. I'd always thought of myself as a loner, due to the fact that I had never fit in, or belonged anywhere. Except perhaps Hogwarts. To be inside my head was not a pleasant place. Sometimes I felt so consumed by the darkness within, that I really felt like to continue would be futile. But when she looked at me with those fiercely independent eyes, I felt the darkness within lighten. She brought balance into my life. By this point I realised I had been sat staring at her. She smiled a knowing little smile. I narrowed my eyes at her playfully. Sometimes I wondered if she was able to read through my thoughts. I shuddered ever so slightly, I truly hope not. Luckily Socks reappeared carrying out diner. He placed it carefully onto the table and bowed deeply.
"Is there anything else Master wishes?" he asked. "Yes. Could you please bring me the finest wine we have in the cellar?" I muttered. His eyes widened in surprise. "As Master wishes" he replied before he scurried out of the room. I went back to gazing at Phoenix.
"This looks amazing!" she cried as she inhaled the expertly prepared food. "He's a very good chef. " I replied as I picked up my own knife and fork. Tonights menu consisted of spaghetti bolanase. I felt my stomach rumble, I hadn't realised how hungry I was. " Please eat" I gestured to her. We ate in a comfortable silence. It felt so wonderful to be this relaxed in another persons presence. I had grown so accustomed to shutting myself down and locking people out that every now and then, as I glanced up at her, I felt my heart jolt unexpectedly. As if the sight of her frightened and exhilarated me at the same time. More than once our eyes met. She smiled sheepishly as I watched her slurp a stray strand of spaghetti into her mouth. I chuckled to myself which earned me a glare from across the table. There was a flurry of activity as Socks returned carrying the bottle of wine and two glasses. "Thank you Socks" I said as I gently took the glasses. He flashed me a toothy grin before bowing once again and exiting the room.
"Care for a drink?" I asked her as I uncorked the 150 year old wine and poured out into our glasses. I bewitched the glass to levitate to her which she grasped with a smile. "Merry Christmas Severus." she purred as she lifted the glass to her mouth. "Merry Christmas Phoenix" I replied as I too took a sip. I felt my insides burn as the aged liqueur flooded my system. Instantly my body began to relax.
Before long, we had finished dinner. With a wave of my wand I cleared away the plates, table and chairs. But I repositioned the candles around the room. As I stood there I felt my body and mind loosen up completely. It was for this very reason I seldom ever drank, because clearly I had drank a little too much elf wine. I couldn't stop the stupid grin that spread across my face, as I threw caution to the wind.
"Dance with me" I growled, my voice sounded deep and unwavering. She sauntered ever to me, her eyes smouldering in the candlelight. "Severus Snape" she purred as she wrapped her arms around my neck, "are you drunk?" A playful smile was dancing across her beautiful face. I smiled down at her, then gave a shrug of my shoulders. Her laughter rang out as beautiful and as clear as fresh, spring water cascading its way down a rocky ravine. I inhaled deeply. As of I could take every inch of her into my being. Her very existence, to me, was as important as the air that filled my lungs. We swayed our bodies together. She pressed her body tightly to mine. "Who would have thought the Prince of Darkness could be so much fun." she teased as she flung her head back and shook out her magnificent mane of hair. I rolled my eyes at her. "Please," my voice drawled, "it's only because of you. No one else is crazy enough get to know me." Her head snapped up. "Are you kidding me?!" she retorted incredulously. I stared at her blankly. "Severus you're quite a catch. You're tall, dark, mysterious and incredibly sexy." she ran her fingers through my hair, "you could have your pick of any woman, if you opened yourself up to people." She looked deep into my eyes, I felt an uncomfortable lurch in my stomach. "But I don't want anyone else" I growled, "I only have eyes for you." I watched as a huge smile spread across her face. "Well answered Professor Snape." She purred as she pulled me over to the sofa. When we were seated she called out to Socrates. He reappeared instantly with a loud crack. "Yes Miss?" he asked. I stared at him in disbelief. He never came this quickly when I called for him. I pushed my annoyance to one side, it was obviously a good sign. Socrates was just as suspicious and careful with strangers as I was. To see him warm so quickly to Phoenix was a very good sign indeed. "Can you please bring us another bottle of wine?" she asked kindly. "of course Miss" he replied. As he disappeared she sat staring at me. I felt my body tremble with longing under her intense gaze. After Socrates delivered the wine we sank back into the sofa. "So," she began as she shifted herself to face me and gave me a swift look over her wine glass, "tell me all about your family." I blanched at the sudden change of conversation. My hand twitched slightly as I brought the wine glass to my lips.
"Why?" I asked as I averted my gaze. "Severus, if we're going to see your mother tomorrow I need to know a little bit about your background." She spoke softly, but her words had a hard edge to them. I wasn't going to get out of this easily. "What do you want to know?" I asked bluntly. She rolled her eyes at me. "Why do you have to make this so difficult Severus?" She replied in annoyance. I narrowed my eyes at her. "Ok Sherlock" I replied, " I'll answer your questions if you answer mine? " I raised an eyebrow at her. Expecting her to back off. "Deal" she replied defiantly. I huffed angrily. She was so stubborn. "I'll go first" she interrupted. " Do you have any other family? " she asked quietly. I took another so of wine. "No" I answered. She continued to stare at me. "You have to elaborate Severus, one word answers don't count." I sighed. "I did have a grandmother and grandfather, but when my mother married a muggle, they disowned her. They said they wouldn't have any part in her life if she chose to throw out all away by being with a mudblood." I glanced at Phoenix. "In a way they had a point. Marrying him was her biggest mistake." She gave a sad smile. "I don't agree" she replied softly. "If your mother hadn't married that man, then I wouldn't have you." I filled my glass with more wine. "My turn" I retorted. I felt her stiffen next to me. "What did your father do to you to make you hate him so much?" Her mouth dropped open in shock. We had touched on the subject of her father before but she very often refused point blank to talk about him. She glared at me intently then took a deep breath.
"He blames me for my mothers death" I felt my own mouth drop open. I had no idea. Then it suddenly hit me, I knew hardly anything about her past. She refused to break eye contact as she continued. "He would leave me alone for days at a time, even at a young age. If he wasn't drinking or making a nuisance of himself with the locals, he would be bombarding me with hateful words. He made out painfully clear that he only kept me around cook and clean for him. He didn't love me, he never wanted me. I had no one to turn to, except my grandmother, but he had forbidden me to visit her. In an attempt to keep me and her apart he always moved us from village to village. He didn't want me making friends. He wanted to keep me alone, and believe me, I was so despairingly lonely. But one night, things took a darker turn for the worse. I was thirteen my father had just stumbled through the door after blowing all his wages at the local bar. He was a gardener by trade." she added before continuing. "I was sat in the living room reading a book. I still remember the look of pure loathing in his eyes as he lurched towards me. He grabbed me by the wrist and pulled me to my feet. His breath was hot and rank. 'I wish you had died instead of her' he whispered, then he pulled back his..."
"Enough!!" I yelled as I sprang to my feet. "Please Phoenix, I don't want to know anymore." I looked down at the beautiful woman sat on my sofa, in my home, the woman who had just barred the most horrific memory, the woman I loved more than I thought was humanly possible. I slumped back down and pulled her into my arms. "I'm so sorry." I whispered into her ear. She leant her head against my shoulder. "It's all in the past" she murmured. "Needless to say, I left for my grandmothers immediately, I never went back." I held her tightly as I tried to reign in my overwhelming hatred towards the man who had hurt her so badly. I just hoped I never came face to face with him, because I didn't think I would be able to stop myself. I ran my hands up her arms. "my mother was a lovely woman, but she couldn't get away from 'him'. It was like she was under some sort of spell." I whispered. "The only time I ever felt safe, was when I was in my dormitory at Hogwarts." I kissed her head before continuing. "After I graduated Hogwarts, I knew what I wanted to do. The Dark Lord had promised me greatness, all I had to do was prove my loyalty." I took a deep breath. "It was easier than I thought to snuff out his life, I didn't feel a thing. No regrets, no sense of loss. I felt nothing. But my mother.." I stopped as the memories came flooding back. " She was devastated." Phoenix looked up at me. "Does she know it was you?" She asked quietly. I shook my head. "No" I replied. The room fell silent as we both sat processing this evenings conversations. "Come on" she said as she pulled me to my feet, "time for bed"

Phoenix

My mind was reeling from the effects of the elf wine and the enormity of our revelations. I had never told another soul about my father. It was a closely guarded secret that I had intended to take to my grave. We walked in silence up the stairs. We stipped off in silence, then slowly climbed into Severus' old bed. I pushed myself into his warm body and pulled his arms around me. I led there, listening to his steady breathing.
"How did you do it?" I whispered into the darkness. I waited with baited breath.
"Poison" he replied. I closed my eyes, grasping his hands in mine. That night I clung to the murderer I loved, ironically, as if my life depended on it.