Dancing with fire. [A Severus Snape fan fiction]

Secrets and lies

Phoenix

We had decided to spend the night in Severus' old room, seeing as it had grown rather late. I hadn't slept well. The night was full of dark, sinister and sufficating images. More than once I woke up drenched in sweat and shaking uncontrolably. Everytime, Severus would gather me into his arms and whisper soothingly into my ear, until sleep came to claim me once  more. Consequently, I was the first one to wake. I glanced at Severus. He was still fast asleep. I bit my lip. It was now or never, I thought definantly. I gingerly extracted myself from the sheets and silently crept across the bedroom, heading for Severus' classroom.

Severus

I groaned sleepily into my pillow. Thank goodness it was the weekend, after the night Phoenix and I had, I seriously doubted I would be able to function properly today. I ran my arm out across the bed searching for Phoenix, but was met with an empty space. I sat bolt upright and took a quick glance around my room, then pushed back the bed covers and threw on my dressing gown, before continuing my search.
As I walked silently down the staircase heading towards my office, I could hear the faint chinking of glass as my potion bottles were being moved about. My heart gave an unpleasant jolt. What on earth was she up to? I pushed open my office door, quickening my pace as I did so. When I reached the door leading to my classroom I paused. There was no mistake, she was definitely in my store cuboard. I took a deep breath before pushing open the door. I crept up to where Phoenix was stood wih her back to me.
"What are you up to?" I growled. Phoenix jumped and shrieked at the sound of my voice. I watched her intently. Her pupils were dilating and the colour in her cheeks had risen.
"Severus. I was just looking for...something to help with the nightmares" she replied quietly. Her voice was steady but she couldn't meet my gaze. I nodded slowly. "Why didn't you just ask me. I can sort something out for you in no time" I smiled as I held my arms out to her. She smiled back and drifted into my embrace. "I didn't want to bother you" she mumbled into my chest. I kissed the top of her head and whispered "Come back to bed, it's far too early to be up and about." She grinned before leading the way back to my bedroom. I felt as if the wind had been knocked from my sails and my stomach clenched uncomfortably. I didn't have to use my gift of occulumency on Phoenix to know, without a shadow of a doubt, that she had just lied to me.

Phoenix
After trying and failing to fall back asleep, we decided to head down to breakfast and formulate a plan for visiting my father.
"We have to see Dumbledore first to get a forwarding address, that woman must have left one" muttered Severus as he picked at his food. I kept my eyes firmly on my untouched plate. I was still shook up by Severus' interuption this morning. I took a deep breath before nodding in agreement. " You'll be ok, I'll be with you every step of the way" he added gently as he gave me a sideways glance. I forced a small smile and swallowed hard. I wouldn't admit it but his constant presence was one of the things I was afraid of.

"Where are we?" Asked Severus as we landed with a thud in an overgrown country lane. "Wiltshire" I replied. I looked up and down the lane. It hadn't changed much since I had been here last. "We lived here briefly was I was about ten. The house is this way." When Dumbledore had given me my fathers address, I could hardly believe it. He had returned to one of the homes from my childhood. I hadn't been expecting that. My right was flanked by a sprawling woodlands and to my left was great open fields of wheat. The birds were singing and hopping through the hedgerow without a care in the world. How I wished I could feel that carefree. The loud thumping of my heart was pulsing through my ears. I had to calm down. As if on cue, Severus grasped hold of my hand and squeezed it firmly. I squeezed back in response. The walk seemed to last forever. With every step my limbs felt heavier and heavier. Then as we emerged over a sloped road, the house loomed into view. It looked almost the same as it had all those years ago. Except the roof clearly looked in desperate need of a repair and the once proud garden had become neglected. The place was rundown, and the air of unhappiness still lingered over it. A shiver ran down my spine.

I was here.

Severus led the way down the garden path and towards the front door. I felt sick to my stomach, as I reached out a trembling hand and knocked on the door.