Douchebag (Niall Horan fanfic)

chapter 19

"I'm coming right now" I say to my mum before I hung up.

"What is going on" Sel asks. 

"Hanna is in hospital" I say and grab my jacket. 

Sel came after me. We take her brothers car and drive to the hospital. 

"Hanna Johnson" I say to the lady behind the desk. 

"304" She says.

I knock on the door before I walk in the room. Hanna is laying in the bed. She has a big cut on her forhead where blood is running down from it. She has a scar under her eye and some bruises. 

"Hanna" I say. 

She is laying on the bed quiet. It's a loud biip sound that hit the room every 5 secound. Her mother is sitting on the bed crying. She looks at me when I walk in the room.

"Hello Mrs. Johnson" I say and hug her. 

"Hello girls" She hugs both of us.

"What happend" I ask her and walk to the bed. 

"It's been a car accident. Drunk driving. Hanna didn't drive. The doctors says they can't tell us now if she will wake up or not" Mrs. Johnson break down in front of me. 

The secound I heard those words my whole body starts shaking. Selena hug Mrs. Johnson and cries with her. I take Hannas hand and hold it tight. Tears run down my face, they hit my hand. After a while I start sobbing. Sel walk over to me and hug me.

"This can't be real" She says quiet. Her voice is shaking and her eyes is red.

The biip sound in the room starts getting faster. I could see on the screen that the numbers were falling down. Before I knew the room was full of doctors in white coats. 

One of them dreg me and Sel out of the room. I struggle against. I am not leaving my best friend. 

"No" I scream. I knew what this meant. Sel break down on the floor. I cry as loud as I have never been crying before. I look in the little window on the door. They stands around her bed. A doctor is sitting with Hannas mum and is trying the best she can to comfort her. Her face is all red because of crying. I stare down at Sel. Her body is shaking. The biip sound got longer and longer. The doctors stop doing what they are doing. They put their hands down. I look over at the screen. "0" I stands. 

"June 13, 15:34" One of the doctors says.

"No" I yell before I storm in the door. 

"I am so sorry Mrs. Johnson. We did everything we could do" She runs over to the bed and take Hannas hand while her tears storm out of her eyes. 

My whole world falls apart. I hug Selena the hardest I could. "I love you" She says. I hug her even tighter. Our best friend is dead. 

-

I open the door to my mums car. She is crying. "I love you so so much" She says and kiss my cheek. I hug her tight. Selena sits in the rear seat. She is not crying anymore. Her eyes just stare out the window. Her face is all white and her eyes explosive red. 

I walk in the door all empty. I see Niall is sitting on the couch. 

"Jennifer" He says. He jump up and run over to me. He hug me the tightest he could. I just stand there and don't do anything. Except crying. I've never cried this much before. I felt like puking. I was empty but the tears never stopped. He didn't let go of me.

His phone starts vibrating. He take it up to his ear. "Harry not know" He says. 

I could hear Harrys voice talk fast. A lot of words run out of his mouth but I could not hear what he said. 

"Okay" Niall says and hung up. 

Tears starts running down his eyes. He has known Hanna for some years. Even if she hates him, he knew her and they've been in love. I hug Niall the tighets I could but he didn't hug me back. He just stares out in the room. 

"Zayn killed Hanna" He says and more tears start running down his face. 

My whole world stood still for a while. Zayn drove the car. Drunk. I punch Niall on his chest. The anger buillt inside me. "No" I scream while tears storms down my chin.

5 days later;

"You ready" my mum ask.  

Tears tear up in my eyes. I take her hand and walk out with her in the car. Tom is sitting in the car. He is wearing a black suit. We drove to the church. I could see Sel standing there with her brother. I hug her tight before I take her hand and we walk in. The church is full of people. We sit down with her family. I cried so much that it felt like my eyes were falling out. I turn around and look at all the people. Everybody is crying. I see Niall is sitting in the back. He is sitting beside Harry and Louis. I stare in his eyes. He was crying. 

I don't remember much about what happend in the church. I just cried. Eveybody is walking out off the church and over to the cemetery. I noticee Zayn in the croud. 

"What the hell is he doing here" I yell. I've never felt such a anger for a person.  I run over to him.

"Eveything is your fault" I say and punch him in his chest. 

"I'm so sorry Jennifer" He is crying. I punch him harder. "I hate you" I yell. 

Someone came behind me and drag me away from him. I turn around and hug the person the hardest I could. It was Harry. 

"Jennifer" He says and hug me tight. 

-

It's horrible raining. I hold Sels hand and her head is laying on my shoulder. Everybody is standing in a circle around the hole. I hold my mother in the other hand. Niall came behind me. He lays his head on my shoulder while he hold around my waist. Tears is running down his face. I kiss his wet cheek before the priest starts talking. 

Everybody is standing quiet and staring on the hole, crying while the priest is laying roses on her grave. Some of the others is also doing it. They sink her down. 

"Rest in piece" The priest says. 

I start screaming. I can't handle it. Niall hold me the tighets he could. He kiss my cheek. 

- 

I lay down in my bed. I was exhausted. I hadn't ate anything the last few days and the little I ate I puke up again. My body is struggeling, so is my mind. I think about Hanna and her beautiful blond long hair, and beautiful smile. Tears run down my cheek. I stay up and descide to take a shower. I look my self in the mirror. I stop crying. My body is just empty. I look at the picture that hangs on my mirrir. It is me, selena and Hanna at a lake two years ago. I remember that day so much. We snuck us out in the middle of the night and went to a lake to skinny dip. I remember Sel called her boy friends. It was a boy named Martin who took the picture. I haven't seen him since that day. Our hair is wet and we only have a towel around our body. We laugh on it. We looked so happy. 

I take it down and hold it in my hand before I lay it on the sink and walk in the shower. With the clothes on. I turn the shower on. I just stand there. The water shift between hot and ice cold. I stare out. I feel the little make up I have left on my eyes run down my face. I scream the loudest I can. I love her so much. 

I take my sweater off.  I throw it on the shower-floor. My razor fall down on the floor. I take it up. I stare at it in my hand. "No" I say to myself. I lay it against my wrist. I pursed my eyes again and press down. I cry loud. I take it up and see a little cut on my hand. I put it down on my wrist again, on the same place, and press down again. The cut get deeper and it starts bleeding. I put it down on my wrist again and press as hard as I could. Picture of Hanna comes up in my head. It shifts between Zayn and her beautiful smile. I throw the razor the hardest I could on the shower-door. My body slide slowly down the wall while I cry. The bathroom door opens up and Niall storm inn. 

"Babe are you okay I heard you scream" He says. I look up at him while I cry. My hand is bleeding. He run in the shower and sit down and hold around me. 

"Please don't do it" He says. I put my head on his chest. The water is running down on us. The cuts on my wrist hurts so bad eveytime the water hits it.